Sunday, September 2, 2012
Blog Comments.....we all love them, we love getting them. For many, even in the hustle and bustle, we read a post and comment, or maybe we don't comment at all. That comment could take the form of a pat on the back, or a high five at a great find or a word of encouragement.
What happens when a comment you left for someone takes on a voice in that persons ear that is totally not the voice you had in your heart? It happens, and it happened to me and I have to say, I was left feeling pretty bad about the whole thing, still do.
Worse yet, being totally unaware that anything I had said would have been offensive, I found out about it via a blog post. My name was not mentioned, but my words jumped off the page at ME as I read the post about the situation. First thing I thought was.."Oh, my gosh...what did I say???" and discovered when I went to reread my words that yes, I did use those certain words, but they were interpreted and taken totally out of content from the way I meant them.
What was worse, I quickly discovered because that is what we do, (go read who the nasty person is that would say such a thing) that my comment was the only one that contained those certain words...so "Outed for all of BLOG LAND to read".......I was crushed. Truly. Not so much as to the "outing" but more so of the fact that my words seemed to carry a voice in someones ear, that does not match my heart and they were deemed offensive to another person.
In visiting blogs and commenting, I don't know about you, but I read the post and sometimes I just fire off a comment without much thought to how my words will read. I know in my heart and head what I mean by them, but what happens when someone else does not hear it in the same tone or get what you are saying?
It is a lesson for me that I need to be more careful how I say things because the farthermost thing from my heart is to offend someone who I take the time to leave a comment for. I know there are folks out there that do enjoy leaving comments that are not so nice, but I don't fall under that category, that is not who I am.
Likewise, I have often read comments left for others and when I read them, thought to myself..that was rude....but maybe the person who the comment was left for never felt that way. It is all in the way we read something I guess that determines the interpretation. Everyone walks a different path and maybe we pull feelings from words we read from past experiences or hurts in our own lives. What someone says to one person may be fully understood but saying the very same thing to another, well it becomes judgmental and offensive.
My response to all of this was to immediately email the person and tell them that I did not mean what I said the way they read it, and apologize. Honestly, that was probably not the best thing to do either.....but I felt it was right to do.
All I know is I need to be more mindful of how my words will read to someone else because the very last thing I want to do moving forward is to have to apologize for offending anyone and trying to explain that the voice they heard was not the voice of my heart.
Life lesson today: Choose your words very carefully.