I don't know about you, but I tend to be one who suffers and endures things for long periods of time. I tend to do that instead of reaching deep within myself to gather the courage to do something about the issue.
Aside from blaming my problem on procrastination when it comes to health issues, most of the time the real culprit is plain ole fear of facing the truth. Or, perhaps it is the truth of the unknown or what could be discovered that cause me to endure the inconveniences that certain health problems create.
Far too long, I chose to live with the motto "what you don't know can't hurt you" and still, even today, I tend to carry that as my life anthem. That is what fear does to you folks, sad but true.
What do you think happens when you have endured all you can for months and months and it causes your life to be completely non-existent? The struggles of day to day life get so heavy, it is all you can do to make it through one day at a time.
Likewise, ultimately, while dealing with one's own inner health struggles, slowly but surely, those around you don't get there is anything wrong. You are suddenly, and are falsely accused of not putting your family first. These same family members don't really care to look closer and even wonder if there could be a problem other than the false accusations they hurl your way. Is it a six sense that causes close relatives to turn their back on you? Never call? Funny, after months and months of that sort of treatment, you realize you really are not that important anyway to those individuals.
Finally one day, you wake up and realize the only person you are responsible for is yourself....and if you need fixing, than it is your own responsibility to get yourself fixed up and back on the road to enjoying life. I don't always feel the need to "tell" anyone what is going on or what is wrong, simply because I carry things on my own and deal with them accordingly. One thing I have sadly learned is those that care, related to you or not, will be there even when you are not doing or acting in a way they feel they deserve from you.
A few weeks ago, I did what I knew needed to be done for a long time. I made the step into taking care of some personal health problems. I told no one, with the exception of my husband and kids and a few close friends...there was really no need, as I was worried enough for everyone. I went into that experience with the attitude, "what you don't know can't hurt you", kept it to myself and pushed myself to get it taken care of.
You had better know there is more to this story, and well, like any good storyteller, I intend to tell it in hopes of bringing a chuckle or two.
First thing to remember is this...the doctors are so very quick to tell you that your discomfort will be minimum and you will feel fine very quickly. They insist this procedure you are having has been done hundreds of times and the bounce back time is nothing. They insist in all honesty you will be back to work in less than two weeks. They say these things because they are not the ones going through any of it. That is the truth and you won't convince me otherwise. Luckily for me, my husband agrees 100% with me. Doctors promise you the moon and then shake their heads when your rocket never reaches the moon they promised to begin with.
Stay tuned for later in the week when I continue with this story and tell you how my discomfort was compared to a couple of cats by my very own doctor. I. Kid. You. Not.
SPRINGTIME ON THE MANTEL
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