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I know everyone experiences this particular feeling once in a while....you know the one... the one where you know someone does not like you? And you have to act all cool like you don't care at all that they don't like you... even though you really do? And you act all tough pretending it doesn't matter to you one way or the other because you can totally take them or leave them?
Seriously, how do you learn that? Because I am need of that particular knowledge at this moment. 2009 was full of tough experiences and truths. Am I looking forward for 2010?...absolutely, I mean seriously....surely it will hold wonderful moments and experiences from the knowledge learned from 2009.....let's hope.
This past year has been a struggle....for myself personally, I faced my weight issues, and started to do something about it....I know what you are thinking.....Where are the updates? I am going to follow up on this and start the New Year trying to offer suggestions to others in the same situation....Life has just been in the way as of late....sorry.
Along with facing weight issues and the causes, I was forced to face some of the reasons this is a problem in the first place....that has not been easy....I thought I had made real lasting progress....but I quickly found out during the holidays that it still is on the surface....just waiting....to rear it's ugly head..... *sigh*
My family is very rooted in tradition.....and this year our traditions and celebrations were forced to change....we learned that our little family means virtually nothing to some members of our "family" thus the change in the way we have always done things.....so new traditions were formed....strange feelings in that...but we survived. I also learned while some "family" members are less than loving....I also know we mean everything to other "family" members.....I am thankful beyond words for these people....so the holidays were extremely hard on me this year.....I tried to make peace, offer a open heart and home...overlook differences....it was not received at all....so I put on a happy face, and no one really knew how sad my heart was over the situation....so live and learn.....and in the midst of the stress, I have to say, I did not do too well on following my daily diet routine, and feel bad to post about how to keep on track, when I can seem to stay on track myself.....I am a work in progress so bear with me....
While 2009 was tough on me in so many ways, on the other hand, I have to say it did bring about lots of wonderful changes for me. Changes I could have never imagined happening at the beginning of the year. Said changes required me to take a leap of faith, step out of my comfort zone, and extend love and friendship to others when I thought they really did not need it....what a lesson this has been. And I have been so blessed, beyond measure.
This year I reconnected with old friends from my past...friends who once again mean the world to me. Friends whom I had not seen or talked to in twenty something years...and now....I can not go a couple of days and if I don't hear from them, and I feel like I am missing a piece of myself....friends who mean so much and add so much to my life....I can not imagine how I got along all this time without them....for this I am so thankful....it was a hard process for me, as I had to lay aside any negative thoughts I have had about myself all of these years, and in doing so, I discovered these Ideals I had were really not true, they were something I felt was true, but in all actuality it was not....what an experience to grow from...
If there are people in your life, or who once were in your life and are not there now....take a step and reconnect or at least try to....you just may find that the piece of yourself that has been missing all of these years is the one person who will welcome you back with open arms....for me, this has been the highlight of my year....I learned to not be so hung up on the fact I am not like I once was at 20 something....and that it is OK and really does not matter to anyone other than myself....Lessons learned for sure, attitudes adjusted,and most of all, started to take time for myself and focus on myself and things that matter to me ...
I learned to savor the moments that means so much....like my baby daughter graduating from college....my heart was filled with pride and admiration for the fact that she was able to do something I never did or finished...and have always regretted. Words can not explain how proud she has made me......these are the times that make life so sweet.
And moments like these...just take my breath away....I am so thankful for the son God gave me, the son who loves me beyond compare and will go to great lengths for his mom and sister.....they just don't make em any better than this, and I am so thankful and blessed..........so watch out 2010.....I am ready for you.....I've made a plan, I have set some goals, and plan on seeing them all through. And at the end of 2010....I want to look over my list and know I did everything I set out to finish. I will see a list with all things checked off.....and I will know, I did my all to see it through......what a great feeling this will be....how about you? Have you made your list for the New Year....not a resolution list...but a actual list that will fit into your life and make your life better?
Think about it, we can do it together......encourage one another in 2010.
Great post Suzanne.
ReplyDeleteMy Momma always made me feel like I was the most important person in the world and when I got older, I was shocked, to learn that not everyone liked me or would ever like me no matter what I did,..it was really hard for me to accept, cause I wanted to be liked by everyone I met, I finally realized it wasn't going to happen. I have learned to say, I really hate it, but it is their loss, their choose, I could have been their best friend now it's their problem not mine...I don't try to act like I don't care I make it totally their problem, their choice. I am not going to ruin my life by worrying over their choices. There are several family members from DH side that don't like me...sorry about their luck...they lost the best friend they could ever have.
Do not, I repeat do not beat yourself up for slipping on your diet. We all do, we are all this frail weak thing called HUMAN, you simple acknowledge you slipped, dust yourself off and keep on keeping on.
As for having to change Family traditions because you find you are not as important to some family members, as you are to others, well that happens to most of us at one time or another, you simple say ok, life goes on and families grow apart, We are very strong on Tradition in our family also, this happened to us several years ago and new traditions where formed. It was hard, much harder for my DH than me, but it will get better, now we just roll with the flow... As long as you have your Hubby and your Children and your parents if they are still alive, you have all you need.
I hope the coming year brings you all the joy and happiness you deserve.
Molly
Sending you hugs and strength for a positive and happy 2010.
ReplyDeleteYour children are just beautiful.
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled into your blog several months ago, and have been just enchanted with all the ways there are to reach out or to be connected, even if we never meet. Your open door has meant a lot to me this year, and your open heart even more.
Thank you for being the host for one of my very favorite places, to meet and greet and glimpse lives not my own through your magic portals to other places and people and things.
I wish you warm and well and happy in this close of the old year, and all the same, plus much more, for the bright new year to come!!
rachel
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI think 2010 will be a wonderful year for you because I can hear the optimism in your words. You are ready for a change and your positive attitude will get you there.
Here's to a great year ahead!
Jane
Suzanne what a great post! You are very blessed. Thanks so much for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteJocelyn
http://justalittlesouthernhospitality.blogspot.com/
I trust laying it all on the line, will be a kind of therapy for you. Believe me, I understand where you are coming from and hope where you are going will be a great blessing for you.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne, a truly memorable post and thank you.
ReplyDeleteRemember, a prophet is without honor in his/her own land and you're right, we've all known what you're talking about. For me, what's worse is when people don't like me but also spread lies and rumors about me. Even worse than that is when those same people profess to be Christians.
I've always said, "it's never too late to become the friend you've always wanted" and am happy with my friendship and company. I have a few, less than a handful, of friends who are true, the rest are acquaintances or simply people I know. For me, it's enough.
You are loved by a great many and the rest...do they really matter?
Probably not -smile-.
God's blessings on you, yours and the work of your hands and heart.
Happy New Year
from Thistle Cove Farm
The blessings in life are in the journey,as you will see when you reach the finish line and the sign that says "YOU HAVE ARRIVED!" Remember: Caring and Sharing your thoughts and wisdom gleaned along the way is part of that journey, part of the human-ness, part of 'the process' of "going home".
ReplyDeleteAlways be your own cheerleader and love yourself. That is not egotistic. Taking care of yourself is more than watching what you eat and driving carefully. It also means avoiding toxic people and situations. Sometimes when they are relatives, we must learn to deal with them in whatever way is best for us.
ReplyDeleteRemember the Serenity Prayer as you come to grips with those who don't hold dear the same values as you. It does get easier. Honest. Allow the love of those around you, the love and respect for yourself, and the friendship and admiration of your blog buddies to begin to fill the void left by those you wish were different.
Here's to a healthy, happy 2010 for all of us!
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteA very moving post. Thank you for sharing. You sound like a very caring, warm, and human person.
I pray for a great 2010 for you.
Susan
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI loved your post, Very moving! I pray you have a blessed New Year and that it's positive for you!
Paula
7isheavenforus.blogspot.com
2010 looks like it's full of possibilities for you, Suzanne! Sounds like you will meet all challenges head-on!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about slipping on your diet. I really wanted to tell you to wait until after the holidays to start, but I didn't want to discourage you. It's an awful struggle for anyone at this time of the year, because we are bombarded with rich food. Take it a day at a time.
I wish you much happiness in 2010!
Carol
Suzanne, holidays are a hard time to stick with new habits. Old habits are much easier in times of stress. The real trick is to get back to the new habits quick. i know how you feel about the whole family thing. I'm learning how hurtful it can be when people are secretive about their feelings. Anyway, we're going to grow together in 2010, you and all of us that are taking encouragement from your words. Lane
ReplyDelete(((((Suzanne)))))
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you've had some yucky moments during the holidays. You are a wonderful, intelligent and creative soul. Don't let anyone steal your joy! Here is a book that I highly recommend: "What You Think of Me is None of My Business" by T. Cole-Whittaker. I read it eons ago and it might be helpful. IMHO, we're not all going to like each other...that's just life. I do think that respect is vital and sometimes we need to agree to disagree. I hope that you will take good care of yourself and realize how much you matter!
I tried the lotion recipe that you offered and everyone loves it! I think it's one of the best ideas ever and I really appreciate your sharing it.
Try not to be hard on yourself re: the foods, etc., during the holidays. I feel like a beached whale myself! :-) Just make an effort each day to get back on track. We can do this!
Sending you positive energy and the knowledge that you are loved. I wish for you a wonder*filled New Year full of laughter, good health and abundance.
xo
warm wishes to you in the new year suzanne...
ReplyDeletemay it be filled with love ~~
including love for yourself!
big hugs~
chasity
Beautiful post - I feel your pain about the holidays, ours were very different this year as well...
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up on the failure of dieting over the holidays. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteVery honest and insightful post. I share your struggles in some issues, and take comfort in your words.
ReplyDeleteI found your site about 8 months ago, and love checking in! I will be visiting very often, and look forward to all your future posts.
Hi Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteLoved this post. So much of my story is here too. Your honesty and clarity are inspiring. Your kids are beatiful! Here's to a rich and adventuresome 2010...Cheers!
xoxo
Pam
Suzanne, I've made my end of the year LAUNDRY LIST (as I call it). Some of the things I listed certainly touched on your situation at Christmas time. Good luck with your plan for next year!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Jo
well i do believe you are very blessed and i hope that your blessing far outway lifes challenges! happy new year!
ReplyDeleteI can identify with this post and am glad to have found you. Have a wonderful 2010.
ReplyDeleteWow! Just the knowledge you have shared in this post is enough to be proud of. Those were all tough lessons to learn and it sounds like you have come out on the other side a stronger more determined person, friend, mother, family member and human being. So just remember you can't choose your family. Many of us wouldn't even associate with some of the people we are forced to share the best times in life with. You are not alone. ENjoy your children and your(and theirs) good health. That's what is really important.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a busy week or so Suzanne so maybe we can all forgo the 50 lashes with a wet Fat Quarter!
ReplyDeleteI understand about the family stuff we all have it I think. My sisters have shut me out completely nothing I have done or said, their choice as Molly said, & they are the poorer for it. My oldest DS says '"what goes around comes around,Mum".
The blogland friends are the best & I really appreciate all of you.
Blessings for Merry christmas[all twelve days] and a better 2010.
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteEverytime I read a post like this I think "I am not the only one"! I also had a very special ( I thought) friend turn away from me this year. I have a very small family unit, so my friends are my extended family for sure. It was sooo hard! I tried three times to see if we could fix the rip, it didn't work. I have feelings still as I was just "dismissed" and that to me is impossible! People don't do that! Well, yes they do...and I am still dealing with it. But in that time, I also started blogging and have met incredible women like you! I feel as if I have grown a bunch, and I can let pettiness and unkind people behind in 2009. Thank you for this post, it always feels a little better when there is someone who knows what you are going thru.... We have been changing some of our family traditions for the holidays for a few years now, and I am blessed with a family that embraces it. The oens I really care about are there, the rest just don't matter anymore....Happy New Year!