I know everyone experiences this particular feeling once in a while....you know the one... the one where you know someone does not like you? And you have to act all cool like you don't care at all that they don't like you... even though you really do? And you act all tough pretending it doesn't matter to you one way or the other because you can totally take them or leave them?
Seriously, how do you learn that? Because I am need of that particular knowledge at this moment. 2009 was full of tough experiences and truths. Am I looking forward for 2010?...absolutely, I mean seriously....surely it will hold wonderful moments and experiences from the knowledge learned from 2009.....let's hope.
This past year has been a struggle....for myself personally, I faced my weight issues, and started to do something about it....I know what you are thinking.....Where are the updates? I am going to follow up on this and start the New Year trying to offer suggestions to others in the same situation....Life has just been in the way as of late....sorry.
Along with facing weight issues and the causes, I was forced to face some of the reasons this is a problem in the first place....that has not been easy....I thought I had made real lasting progress....but I quickly found out during the holidays that it still is on the surface....just waiting....to rear it's ugly head..... *sigh*
My family is very rooted in tradition.....and this year our traditions and celebrations were forced to change....we learned that our little family means virtually nothing to some members of our "family" thus the change in the way we have always done things.....so new traditions were formed....strange feelings in that...but we survived. I also learned while some "family" members are less than loving....I also know we mean everything to other "family" members.....I am thankful beyond words for these people....so the holidays were extremely hard on me this year.....I tried to make peace, offer a open heart and home...overlook differences....it was not received at all....so I put on a happy face, and no one really knew how sad my heart was over the situation....so live and learn.....and in the midst of the stress, I have to say, I did not do too well on following my daily diet routine, and feel bad to post about how to keep on track, when I can seem to stay on track myself.....I am a work in progress so bear with me....
While 2009 was tough on me in so many ways, on the other hand, I have to say it did bring about lots of wonderful changes for me. Changes I could have never imagined happening at the beginning of the year. Said changes required me to take a leap of faith, step out of my comfort zone, and extend love and friendship to others when I thought they really did not need it....what a lesson this has been. And I have been so blessed, beyond measure.
This year I reconnected with old friends from my past...friends who once again mean the world to me. Friends whom I had not seen or talked to in twenty something years...and now....I can not go a couple of days and if I don't hear from them, and I feel like I am missing a piece of myself....friends who mean so much and add so much to my life....I can not imagine how I got along all this time without them....for this I am so thankful....it was a hard process for me, as I had to lay aside any negative thoughts I have had about myself all of these years, and in doing so, I discovered these Ideals I had were really not true, they were something I felt was true, but in all actuality it was not....what an experience to grow from...
If there are people in your life, or who once were in your life and are not there now....take a step and reconnect or at least try to....you just may find that the piece of yourself that has been missing all of these years is the one person who will welcome you back with open arms....for me, this has been the highlight of my year....I learned to not be so hung up on the fact I am not like I once was at 20 something....and that it is OK and really does not matter to anyone other than myself....Lessons learned for sure, attitudes adjusted,and most of all, started to take time for myself and focus on myself and things that matter to me ...
I learned to savor the moments that means so much....like my baby daughter graduating from college....my heart was filled with pride and admiration for the fact that she was able to do something I never did or finished...and have always regretted. Words can not explain how proud she has made me......these are the times that make life so sweet.
And moments like these...just take my breath away....I am so thankful for the son God gave me, the son who loves me beyond compare and will go to great lengths for his mom and sister.....they just don't make em any better than this, and I am so thankful and blessed..... .....so watch out 2010.....I am ready for you.....I've made a plan, I have set some goals, and plan on seeing them all through. And at the end of 2010....I want to look over my list and know I did everything I set out to finish. I will see a list with all things checked off.....and I will know, I did my all to see it through......what a great feeling this will be....how about you? Have you made your list for the New Year....not a resolution list...but a actual list that will fit into your life and make your life better? Think about it, we can do it together......encourage one another in 2010.