I know most of you remember my post about facebook....and the flood of emotions signing up for that started a few weeks ago. Boy, was that an experience dealing with all of that at one time for me. I thought I would share my thoughts now and sorta give you an update...because I know you are worried about that...haha....after all drama is drama no matter how you look at it and well....it makes for a good read....usually!
My best friend from school and her sister, whom I was close to as well have reconnected on a "safe" level. I say safe because neither of us has really extended an invitation to make it any thing more. None of us, has offered a phone number, or invitation to meet up.....not really, nothing really definite. I thought about that the other day, and wondered why I had not given my phone number or anything more....I came up with all kinds of excuses why I have not suggested a meeting in person.....
1 . Need to lose weight
2. Their lives are too busy
3. My life is busy
4. Need to lose weight
5.What would my husband think?
6. What if I changed so much, they would not like me today?
7. What if it is too awkward?
8. Nee to lose weight
I think you get the picture.....I have made every excuse in the book....and yet, I feel scared to make that effort....of what I don't know. I don't know if scared is the word but definitely insecure.
I have enjoyed the emails back and forth, and getting to know about their families, it is progressing slow...but I think that is OK too. It is a start and without a start, nothing can begin. A lot of time in our lives have passed, they have their own friends, and good friends at that. I also have thought about this time that has passed, and truthfully,I could have done something a long time ago and chose not to.
So it is no one fault or another...and I seem to really feel that my friends are still the same as always...and find that it is ME who has changed over the years....honestly, I am not sure I like admitting that...it is a hard pill to swallow for me. I guess the message I would like to get across is it is not too late to find childhood friends that meant so much to you in the past, things may be different now, but it still brings a warm sense of comfort from long ago to reconnect on any level.......it takes a lot of courage....and I know that.
Now....on a positive note.....my husband's family on his paternal grandmothers side of the family were originally from Sweden. Friday, his distant cousin contacted both of my children and myself....he is my husband's cousin from Sweden and found us through facebook. AMAZING. I still can't really keep the story straight who was related to who, but he was here in the 70's at my husband's Great Aunt's home and sent a picture he had taken of my father in law at that time....it was unreal.
I told my husband, that there was no reason not to plan a trip to Sweden soon and meet his cousin in person, and get this...the cousin lives in the ORIGINAL family home in Sweden. The home the siblings lived in before some of them made their way to the United States never to return to the homeland.....what a story, I know.
So I am amazed at the things facebook does, on all levels. I never would have believed what a difference signing up for a on-line network sight would make in such a short amount of time. I never would have believed that this experience has caused me to take a long pause at my own life, and the things I have chosen to believe were true for all these years...a real eye opener.....to say the least.
I will let you know when I find some courage to step off into uncharted waters with my new found friends from long ago....I am trying to look deep into myself and write about things that are sometimes not so comfortable to talk about....I feel it is something I need to do, and hope it will help someone else.
Next new thing.....a weight loss or weight problem topic once a week.......I'm still looking for the courage and am having trouble finding it to start that topic just yet....but it is close!
Have a great week......I hope it will be the best it can be for us all!
A little smoke and a little snake
13 hours ago