Monday, October 19, 2009

facebook has brought a few smiles to replace the tears......

I know most of you remember my post about facebook....and the flood of emotions signing up for that started a few weeks ago. Boy, was that an experience dealing with all of that at one time for me. I thought I would share my thoughts now and sorta give you an update...because I know you are worried about that...haha....after all drama is drama no matter how you look at it and well....it makes for a good read....usually!


My best friend from school and her sister, whom I was close to as well have reconnected on a "safe" level. I say safe because neither of us has really extended an invitation to make it any thing more. None of us, has offered a phone number, or invitation to meet up.....not really, nothing really definite. I thought about that the other day, and wondered why I had not given my phone number or anything more....I came up with all kinds of excuses why I have not suggested a meeting in person.....

1 . Need to lose weight
2. Their lives are too busy
3. My life is busy
4. Need to lose weight
5.What would my husband think?
6. What if I changed so much, they would not like me today?
7. What if it is too awkward?
8. Nee to lose weight

I think you get the picture.....I have made every excuse in the book....and yet, I feel scared to make that effort....of what I don't know. I don't know if scared is the word but definitely insecure.

I have enjoyed the emails back and forth, and getting to know about their families, it is progressing slow...but I think that is OK too. It is a start and without a start, nothing can begin. A lot of time in our lives have passed, they have their own friends, and good friends at that. I also have thought about this time that has passed, and truthfully,I could have done something a long time ago and chose not to.

So it is no one fault or another...and I seem to really feel that my friends are still the same as always...and find that it is ME who has changed over the years....honestly, I am not sure I like admitting that...it is a hard pill to swallow for me. I guess the message I would like to get across is it is not too late to find childhood friends that meant so much to you in the past, things may be different now, but it still brings a warm sense of comfort from long ago to reconnect on any level.......it takes a lot of courage....and I know that.


Now....on a positive note.....my husband's family on his paternal grandmothers side of the family were originally from Sweden. Friday, his distant cousin contacted both of my children and myself....he is my husband's cousin from Sweden and found us through facebook. AMAZING. I still can't really keep the story straight who was related to who, but he was here in the 70's at my husband's Great Aunt's home and sent a picture he had taken of my father in law at that time....it was unreal.

I told my husband, that there was no reason not to plan a trip to Sweden soon and meet his cousin in person, and get this...the cousin lives in the ORIGINAL family home in Sweden. The home the siblings lived in before some of them made their way to the United States never to return to the homeland.....what a story, I know.

So I am amazed at the things facebook does, on all levels. I never would have believed what a difference signing up for a on-line network sight would make in such a short amount of time. I never would have believed that this experience has caused me to take a long pause at my own life, and the things I have chosen to believe were true for all these years...a real eye opener.....to say the least.

I will let you know when I find some courage to step off into uncharted waters with my new found friends from long ago....I am trying to look deep into myself and write about things that are sometimes not so comfortable to talk about....I feel it is something I need to do, and hope it will help someone else.

Next new thing.....a weight loss or weight problem topic once a week.......I'm still looking for the courage and am having trouble finding it to start that topic just yet....but it is close!

Have a great week......I hope it will be the best it can be for us all!

29 comments:

  1. I know how you feel, Suzanne. I do not have a facebook for a lot of the reasons you listed. I think it's a great idea to discuss a topic per week. It's very therapeutic.

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  2. It sounds as if Facebook has opened a lot of new doors for you, Suzanne and of course, there are up and down sides to that. Although you may have changed, you have maturity & wisdom on your side now (more than you give yourself credit for) and I know in time you will have a better idea of how to proceed with your old friends. And I also think that if you ever meet up, only a small portion of the time will be talking about your shared past and more time talking about your journeys since...it may be like meeting 'new' friends!

    Excuses are just that...excuses. They may be your defense mechanisms telling you to go slow...that's good!!

    How awesome to meet an old relative. Do you think he will come to visit the family soon?? Will he be posting pics of the old homestead?? Wow...Facebook CAN be amazing!! I signed up for it, but I haven't done anything with it. Too much blogging already filling my time!!!

    Enjoy your week, Suzanne!

    xoxox
    Jane

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  3. Lots of feeling stirred up there, I can tell. Facebook connects many people, doesn't it? I still don't use it much, as I'm not sure I like a large amount of info floating around in cyberspace about me! Will be looking to hear more about your possible rekindled friendships, and the Swedish relatives! Now THAT'S exciting!

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  4. I joined FB this weekend. I am still not sure how I feel about it.

    Sweden - now that is cool. I hope you go. I hope you blog all about it, too!

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  5. I missed your first post on Facebook, so I had to go back and read it first. Glad you've made some connections. I can definitely be a good thing. Now you need to locate the Networked Blogs application and link your blog to Facebook.

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  6. Kbeau...Oh, no....not yet! Too much info out there is too much!

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  7. Wow! So much for you to think about. You really should go to Sweden!
    cindy

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  8. Wow and double-wow ~ that is a really good post and I can't imagine there's anyone on the planet who can't relate to that! I haven't joined FB yet but something tells me I will be pretty soon, but then again I know I'll start doing Farmville and there goes ALL 24 hours of my day!! ha ha Take care ~ ♥

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  9. Great post girl...and I think you should meet up with your old friends...don't you think maybe you just scared of the unknown as we all our...How exciting to find a cousin...I have a facebook account but don't use it...don't have time to blog and facebook both...I'm afraid if I did my DH would shoot me and I would even give him the gun to do it ha ha!!May you have a great day my friend...hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

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  10. I understand completely the hesitation of reconnecting with old friends. Sometimes the memory of a relationship is such that we are fearful that it will change if we meet again. Do you hold onto the memory as you remember it or do you risk having it forever changed by opening a door that's been closed?

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  11. A healthy weight loss discussion is always helpful for all of us, so I say let's get that started! And no matter our age or size, all of us feel that way the first time on facebook! ALL of us do, so you can't let it limit you! You are a superstar to your blogging friends. :)

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  12. Congratulations on overcoming your fears and putting yourself out there. It sounds to me like you are handling this situation so well, and I'm sure you are going to be glad you allowed this contact. How fun to hear from a long, lost relative! You never know what might happen on FB! laurie

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  13. I actually have been wondering how you were doing on the whole facebook thing. I am glad that you are taking it slow and that so far, it is good:)

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  14. I, too have been wondering about that. glad you shared. I have been having serious friendship issues lately(as in when I left my church, I lost all my friends). I watched a program yesterday about how God puts people in your life for a certain time, and some people are temporary... and it is a good thing that they are.....for you to become who you need to be. The program used the example of some people being like scaffolding that is just there to help build the building. That really helped me.Glad things are going ok for you. Have a blessed day.

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  15. Ah! Facebook has been a recent step for me also!...for connecting and reconnecting with old friends and even family.

    I dont check on it much, but will leave it up, for that very reason of people finding me :o) I have had contact with high school classmates from 1979-1981! That I didnt keep in touch with all these years!

    And I also have family on my mom's side that I didnt know I had! Simply amazing!

    Your post is full of promise :o) How great it will be for you to reconnect with friends and meet more family!

    OH! I would love to go to Sweden!

    Blessings & Aloha!

    Our daughter keeps her facebook and her blog totally separate! And with that, I have kept my blog off my facebook so that no one goes through my facebook to my blog and then finds her blog! (She had a past boyfriend that was harrassing her even after she got married, so that is the reason why she keeps it separate).

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  16. My blog and facebook are separate also. I don't have a connection to facebook on my blog and I don't have a connection to my blog on facebook. Actually my facebook is so private, no one can find me. They are not able to invite me to be a friend. That way I have total control over who connects with me. Maybe harder to find old friends that way, but the ones I do connect with let me know about others. On facebook I mainly have family, both mine and B-daddy's family. It has been great to connect with them. I am in touch with family I would normally not be in touch with and have met cousins that I have never met in person. So far it has been a positive experience for me.

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  17. All those reasones are what kept me from going to my HS reunion last month. I understand how you feel. FB sure has a way of stirring up emotions.

    Sweden! WOW how cool. And to be in the same house, simply amazing and exciting!

    *hugs*deb

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  18. My daughter convinced me to get on FB. All my kids are on there and since they all live in others states, it keeps me updated on their doings daily. What I like best is "hiking" pictures they post of the Grands!I also get to keep up with other family members lives. I have connected with some old friends but no meet ups yet!
    If you don't want to meet up, don't. You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do! :)

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  19. I am not sure about all this story. However, if Steve goes to Sweden, let me know.

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  20. Hugs - there is one friend on FB that I would love to meet in person again, but I've gained weight and she's still rail thin so until then I don't think I could muster up the courage to meet her in person.

    A trip to Sweden would be awesome!!! I love connecting with old relatives. FB has brought me so much closer to aunts and cousins, so it's be fantastic in that respect.

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  21. Glad that facebook thang is working out for ya'. I on the other hand...well, let's just say that facebook lets in the good and the bad. Funny how you're holding back because you think they won't like you and I'm holding back BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE NUTS! Okay, so tried your potato soup. We LOVED it. Rob said it was the best he's had since he was a kid. Lane

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  22. Suzanne I absolutely know how you feel. I'm not sure I have any constructive advice except that I really hear you and feel what you are saying and have felt all those things profoundly myself.

    Tracy

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  23. Oh Suzanne...I am such a flob when it comes to FB...I never know what to say and IF someone from my past contacts me i freeze up and freak out...

    I really like the story of your husbands cousin and sweden and the original family home...that is really cool!

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  24. Sweden - now that is cool. I hope you go. I hope you blog all about it, too!

    It's the first that I came to your blog.....

    Nice to meet you....hughs from Vienna
    ~Luna~

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  25. I'm in FB so that I can better connect to my grandchildren. I don't accept anyone else as "friends" as I really don't want to live my entire life on the computer.

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  26. As I read through your post the first thought that came to me was high school reunion. I've never had one but have heard the stories.

    As I approach empty nester time I reflect on how I have taken great care of my kids and my home but not myself. Moms always put themselves last on the list I think. I really need a little kick in my a.... attitude.

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  27. I have connected with many "old" friends on facebook, but my list of reasons to not set up getting together seems to look a lot like yours...

    With needing to lose weight first making it on the list several times.

    Too funny....

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  28. The only thing that was weird for me when I got on Facebook was the people I hadn't talked to since high school, when they'd say... "so what are you up to? job? family?"

    And I'd have to say... "Are you sitting down?"

    :)

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    Replies
    1. Gosh Sara...I miss you! So very much.

      Delete

Sometimes someone says something really small, and it's like it fits into this empty space in your heart!

Thank you for stopping by and leaving your thoughts here, they really mean a lot to me!

Suzanne

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