Friday, December 31, 2010

A New Decade: Letting Go of The Past and Grasping The Future

Someone once told me that they believe that everyone goes through life in cycles. Some of the cycles are good, some not so good. I pictured that more like the peaks and valley kind of thing and they agreed it was a lot like that. They went on to explain that the "valleys" and "peaks" or cycles were believed to last in increments of ten; albeit, ten days, ten weeks, ten months or ten years. Not happy where you are at? Wait it out...the next cycle will come....in due time.

I have not thought about that concept for a long time, and this week I was reminded that maybe there was something to that. At least, for me, I am going to focus on a new beginning tomorrow. A decade of being in the valley is far too long and I am hopeful that a brighter peak is right around the corner. After all, I have done my valley time....a decade worth and expect to see more happier times in the future.

I thought about this last decade of my life that just seems to have happened with me not even present. Where has the 10 years gone, and how did I let so much sadness rob me of 10 years of my life? Ten years filled with incredible loss, heartache, grief, guilt, adjustments, and so many other things that left me feeling totally out of control and unable to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Don't get me wrong, there were a few bright spots along the way, but for the most part, it has been an incredible hard ten years. Ten years in the valley...it is time for some better days.

I have always felt that things get much worse before they get better, and this year has been very difficult. Not too many know of my struggles,it is very hard to share those kinds of things, but finally, I had the courage to get some help and I do feel lots better. It has been so difficult to say the least. Guilty for thinking I have no reason to feel the way I do, and helpless to change how I feel or try to just push forward. I had hit a wall, and there was no more pushing forward. I was stuck and had no way or knowledge of how to make things shift in the direction I wanted to go.

So looking back on my ten year cycle that has been very dark and hard for me, I feel like I was able to see a little bit of light at the end of these 10 years. It is time for brighter tomorrows and making the most of the next decade in my life. I can't go back and get the last ten years back, or change things that happened, or react any differently than what I did during the most difficult of times, but there is a future and I feel like things will be better.

I have learned that no one experiences perfection in their lives, they may only let others see the great things about themselves and their lives, but deep down, everyone has things that are hard for them. They may choose to not talk about them, for what ever reason, but I don't believe perfect exists. Life in and of itself is a challenge everyday, difficult things happen as well as the best of times. We just have to push forward and expect good times to follow the hard times.

This is the first year I am not making New Years Resolutions. I have decided to start off fresh, and to follow my bliss. Whatever or wherever that will lead me. Because finding what it is that turns your life upside down with happiness can only lead to a life filled with no regrets. And no regrets for me, speaks of less time in the valley.

I would like to encourage anyone going through a difficult time, that it will pass, just hang on. Hopefully, it won't last for a ten year span as mine has, but you certainly can expect to see a few peaks after such difficulty. Remember, if things get too bad, it is not your fault, seek help, it makes a difference. Of course, nothing is magic and makes the difficult things go away, but it does help cope with those types of things a little easier. Just don't give up. And remember, you are never too old to follow your heart and find your bliss. That is a lesson I am learning.

Happy New Year to myself and all my friends. Remember if you feel no one would understand your troubles or how you feel, shoot me an email, because I just bet I would be able to relate. Reach out to someone you trust, they won't judge you if they truly love you, we all need to try to keep each other on top of the mountain. Now, Let's make 2011 the best year yet.

22 comments:

  1. Suzanne this is such an honest and open post! I admire you and for finally realizing you could not change things on your own. I have been in that valley my friend and it can be very deep and dark. My cycle seems to be on the up swing and for that I am grateful. I do work at it and accept the good and the bad and move on towards more good. Bless you and Happy New Year! I hope you find some much deserved joy in 2011~ hugs, Linda

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  2. I agree! Twenty Eleven will be as good as heaven....grin. My Mom used to try to make a positive rhymes for each year.....not to good but it's a start.

    Billie

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  3. Hi Suzanne,
    You wrote an amazing post. May you have all the joy and happiness you deserve in 2011 and beyond.
    Happy New Year!
    Jane

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  4. great post to start off on a great new year, decade if you will. Hoping the best for you and for all of us to climb out of the valley that has held us hostage for so long. take care and many blessings to you..;j

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  5. cl - you are so not alone. I have to give you props for being so honest, seems all I find in blog land these days is mushy, gushy, "Oh, look at my happy life" blogs. To me, these are not real, they are fake as fake can be.

    My life is most difficult too, and many times I feel so very alone. That was this evening and your post spoke to me in a way I can not explain. I feel a kinship with you somehow, and I feel like I am not alone, or at the very least as alone as I thought I was. I NEEDED this post tonight, I know it was about you, but in reality it was about me too. Thank you is not enough.

    Very seldom does anyone have the courage to speak their heart and the truth, not worrying what others will think of them. I applaud you for having the courage.

    Many blessings in the New year and on your way to your peak. I hope to follow along behind you hanging on to a rope. We will get there, I have faith after reading your post I will get there too.

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  6. Shed the old (except the vintage thingie) and embrace the new! Happy New Year!!

    Susan and Bentley
    xxoo

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  7. Suzanne I do so appreciate your honest entry. I have struggled alot the past few years between my fibro, snake bite , move and going through that change thing. I do stay upbeat on my blog for the most part but it is a comfort to hear from others like you. I do love the Lord and He is my comfort yet we live in the fleshly body which is so fragile. I am so comforted that He knows all our struggles and is right there and promises it will come about for our good and we will be more like Him in the end which is so what I desire! God bless you!

    Bee Blessed in 2011!
    Mary

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  8. "I read EVERY WORD of your post"... and you are Not Alone... You are in my prayers Sweetie and I want to give you a Giant Hug, a soothing cup of tea, and fluff your pillow!!! We are all friends here... Love you,
    Donna

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  9. I can relate, and there's nothing pretty or fun about it. 'Nuff said. On to better & brighter! Glad to read that you're on the way to a better day.

    Take care & bask in all the virtual hugs you're getting!!

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  10. I hope you know we are all here to listen...and we are all pulling you up out of that valley. A Blessed New Yr is on the way

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  11. Great post! You are such a wonderful lady and I wish you nothing but happiness in this new year and many years to follow! I pray that you find your happiness. And, you are right. No one has perfect lives. Everyone has some sort of problem or darkness or thing they have a hard time escaping. Too bad people don't talk more openly about these things because I bet it would really makes things better in the long-run.
    ~Maggie

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  12. What a great post, Suzanne. I am so glad you chose to seek help. Life is too short and too precious to spend much time in the valleys.

    I raise my glass with a toast to you: Here's to reaching the peak(s)! Happy New Year!

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  13. Thank you for your honest share! "to every thing there is a season", and I'm with you in hoping for brighter days. Hugs, pokey

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  14. This is the most incredible post I have read in a while. It is refreshing to read someone being real, and not pretending to be perfect. Many blessing in the new decade. Shed the old, and take on the new. May your Bliss be right around the corner.

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  15. Happy New Year, Suzanne! Wishing you an exciting and wonderful 2011 with more blessings than you can count.

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  16. beautiful.Belated wishes for the happy and properous new year 2011

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  17. I was so glad to read your good post. I too feel like no one has the perfect life and I guess I had gotten tired of reading all the perfect life posts. I really feel a closeness to you. I have been away from blogging for awhile it is hard with teaching. That seems to take all my time. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm going to try to keep my blogging going, and i will need some help, let me know if you are willing to be a blogging helper to me. Yhanks and best wishes for a prosperous new year 2011!

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  18. That is a big order, but if you set your mind, you can handle anything. I believe in you and so should you. Hopefully, the worst of times are gone, and nothing but a blue sky lies ahead.

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  19. Suzanne, I am wishing you a New Year filled with contentment and peace.

    Jocelyn
    http://justalittlesouthernhospitality.blogspot.com/

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  20. Praying this new year will be a great year for you!

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  21. Thank you for your honest post. I think that each of us has our dark skies. We determine what happens after the dark skies disappear. Hopefully, we choose to bask in the wonderful sunshine that emerges. I'm glad you have found help and are ready to face the year with a great attitude. I too have seen the darkest of skies during this decade. My world has been turned upside down and will never return to right. I will never recover from the loss of my son but I can integrate that loss into the future. (I learned that in our grief recovery group)

    Please know that you are in my thoughts as we enter this new year.

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  22. 10 years is a long time to be so low. Except if you are a doxie or a corgi - they will always be low - with High Hopes for every future moment! The last 2 years were tough ones for us, and this year offers some things new. Look for the good, for the positive, and new things to learn each day. May good things come to you this New Year! **hugs**

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Sometimes someone says something really small, and it's like it fits into this empty space in your heart!

Thank you for stopping by and leaving your thoughts here, they really mean a lot to me!

Suzanne

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