Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka the gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.
Only five minutes
Ready. Set. Go......
My son Jeff and my daughter Alisha, March 2011....A day at the Beach!
Wow....I only have five minutes right??? Motherhood should come with a gift certificate to take a class. Not a class on what to do for your child, but one that would help a parent see what not to do. I think most mothers are born with the instinct of what needs to be done for their child. Love, protection, concern, nurturing, and wanting only the best for our children is a natural thing for mothers.
The hard part is figuring out a good balance. Finding a balance that is healthy for the child to grow and mature in a safe environment at a young age. I have seen so many mothers just hover over their children their whole lives. Never letting the child spread their own wings and try to find their own way. Instead the parent figures out what path they want their child to take and they push and push and make sure that is the path the child chooses. In the long run, I think this leads to a very unsatisfied teen or young adult, and worse, the child has no idea how to think for themselves and constantly look towards their parent to come up with the answers for them. Maybe that sounds ok to some...but is that really what a parent should strive to do??
Along with figuring out a good balance I also think one of the hardest things is for a parent to learn when to back off and stay out of decisions their child may need to make. Now I am not talking about a toddler here, but a teen or young adult.
Personally, it is the biggest mistake I make. I know (or think I know) what the road looks like my kids are on and I try and find a detour to a route I think is safer. Realistically, I know this is not how things need to work, but as a mother, it is so very hard to keep my mouth shut. Parent interventions are not always the best for the situation. I know from experience.
The best thing a mother can do for their children is to provide unconditional love and try and not be afraid to let their children make their own decisions and if it results in failure or mistakes, then it is the child's failure and mistakes, not the parent. I am certainly not claiming I do that...but I am trying....and it is not easy.
If there was a class on "what not to do" I think there would be a lot more teens and parents less stressed in the world. I know it would maybe have saved myself a lot of stress and a lot of sleepless nights and guilt ridden days......motherhood comes with many things....but sometimes too much of some things are just simply too much......maybe motherhood should come with instructions on what not to do.
that was a quick 5 minutes....I really don't want to push publish without rereading this...but I guess I will...