Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Vintage Thingie Thursday: A Quarter of A Century

Who ever thought for one minute that marriage is easy should really stop and think again. Marriage is tough and rough. If you are one of the young ones who still believe that to not be so, well hang on to the seat of your pants because I speak the will see what I mean if you stick with it.

Being married a quarter of a century {today} and still have your heart skip a small beat when your spouse walks in the door is really a good thing. That is reason enough to keep him around I'd say. Whatever he's done - like throwing his clothes on the floor instead of the place where the dirty laundry is kept, or making me repeat something for the third and forth time because he really was not listening to the answer in the first place is really less important when your heart skips that small beat.

Funny, no one tells you when you first get married that all the glory for the most parts fade.....when you go from "I can't wait until I get him alone tonight" to if he snores one more time or farts in his sleep, I am going to stuff a pillow down his throat. Or the fact that once you have children, by the time the end of the day gets here, yes, your heart may still skip a beat, but it also skips a beat at thinking of getting in that bed and ONLY sleeping because you are too tired to do anything else.

Being married is really about the business of living together and making it work. There is nothing romantic about dirty, smelly socks that need to be loaded in the washer, or taxes, credit card bills or mortgages to be paid. These are the things that over time can file away all the love you once felt if you let it, but it also becomes the necessary glue to keep things hanging in balance, believe that or not.

If someone was to ask what the secret to being married 25 years I'd really not know a firm answer for them. I'd most likely say respect, hard work, a lot of compromise and negotiation. Throw in a few shared dreams, love and compassion, a little stubbornness and love on all measures mixed with a little laughter would be a good start. Laughter is good for the soul. Laugh together, laugh when you want to cry, laugh at each other (respectfully) and most important, laugh at yourself. It is hard for your heart to break when you are laughing.

At first, you may believe that love has the power to change a person, make them more of your ideal, more sensitive, more compatible, more to your liking. Love can do a lot of things even change some things, but not the important things. Not the staying things when times get tough, it takes so much more. Marriage is far more work than they ever tell you. Or, if they do tell you, I bet we just did not choose to listen. But always, for me...the work is so worth it.

Last week, we watched a "fairytale" begin, and like those two newlyweds, I was star stuck too. I never wondered for a minute about what struggles were to come. You are never guaranteed long and healthy lives, luckily we have been pretty lucky in that department. You don't think about the hard times when things don't go the way you plan. You don't think about the not so romantic times. You don't think about the dirty clothes or the day after day grind that leaves you tired, worn out and just struggling to make it.

And in saying that, I am sure he did not ever think I'd be nothing more than the hot sexy young thing he married so long ago. So full of energy then, I never really got tired. I am sure some days he wakes up and honestly thinks, "what in the world happened?" Well....marriage happened, a life together full of joys, heartaches and struggles happened and guess what, we are still together. Remember my big plans to get back into that wedding dress, well, you can just imagine, it did not happen. I have accepted that, not easy to do, but I did. Sometimes, you have to learn to let things go, not worry anymore about how you wanted things to turn out....that dress was one of them. Same thing in life....let go of the junk and hang on to what is important. We still put one foot in front of the other each day and my heart still skips that beat when he walks in the door.

It is not easy, and it has not been easy. Nothing worth it is ever easy. So this morning, no bands played, no party streamers were thrown, no big celebrations were planned, it was just him and me doing what we do every day.....he may remember, he may not.....but he better!

Unopened for 25 years. Married at The Little Wedding Chapel of The West, Las Vegas, Nevada.

This one is a big one for me for more reasons than one. It symbolizes the staying kind of love we have, the forgiving kind of love we have, the kind of love you don't have to worry about walking out the door. Even if there is no party, or big event to mark this occasion there is cause to celebrate this milestone.

Twenty five years of a scarred and marred heart that has been kissed and bandaged up time and time again by one special person certainly is cause to stop and be thankful. Thankful, that luck was on our side long ago and we were able to find the one person who'd be all we needed them to be, the one person who is the best friend above all others.

So after 25 years do I think it was easy? Goodness no. But the good does out weigh the bad. We have each other and know what ever comes our way, we will see it through. We have seen our dreams become reality one by one, and we have more to look forward to coming true with a little bit of work. But is certainly makes things a little easier when your heart still skips a beat after 25 years when you see the love of your life walk in the front door.

Happy 25th Anniversary to my husband, I love you with all that I am and .....I demand we make it to 50 and that is not up for negotiation.

Real Life...Real Love......for 25 years!

I just added the link for Vintage Thingie time this week for a new post. My vintage thingie is the unopened bottle of champagne from when we got married! Have a  great week!


  1. congratulations!
    i don't think there is a one size fits all reason as to why some stay married a long time and others not. you hit some great points tho'.
    i was just realizing yesterday how long i have been married-not as long as you-but time sure flies :)
    have a happy day~

  2. What a wonderful post. It is nice to be married to your best friend isn't it. I thank God every day for my wonderful husband. Have a Happy Annivesary and I hope many more.

  3. Congratulations and well said! We just had our 13th anniversary on monday.

  4. congratulations! treating each other as you would a best friend for is a huge ingredient in a relationship & i say amen to the laughter piece...hope your celebration day is blessed!

  5. Happy Anniversary WOW 25! This is the year for 25. Life is Real and this April I was still recovering from my hositpal stay and We are still trying to find that special dinner out, too tired to go to Fort Worth where I wanted so we agreed to wait. lol It doesn't matter as much where and what you do as long as you are together and those heart beats still skip.
    Love you girlfriend and Congrats 25 is the new 50!

  6. Oh, many things you mentioned to be unromantic would send so many young girls running today. Young folks just give up too easy.

    I think a HUGE dose of stubbornness is always good too...too stubborn to leave. If you work through all the not so pleasant stuff, things sure can be good and fulfilling. In today's society many never see that!

    I love what Phyllis said....25 years is the new 50 years...ain't that the truth!!!

    Congratulations to both of you. It is a very special accomplishment for sure. Enjoy your day whatever you guys do, it will be special.

  7. Congratulations on your 25th anniversary! We will be celebrating our 36th in June. Being best friends is essential to any marriage. Enjoy! Celebrate!

  8. Wishing you another 25 years! Congratulations! What a beautiful and truthful post! Marriage is work but so worth it!

  9. Happy Anniversary!

    Jocelyn @

  10. Happy anniversary, Suzanne and hubby! Here's hoping the next 25 are even happier!

  11. Happy 25th Anniversary! We will celebrate ours this year too. We tell ourselves often that we are lucky to be married to each other. I agree that humor, forgiveness, respect and perseverance are part of what makes a marriage last.

  12. Happy Anniversary! Many more wonderful years and memories to come are my wishes!

  13. Happy Anniversary, Suzanne and hubs! I can really relate to what you're saying here. We're heading for 28 years in another month. May you enjoy every year until 50, and then some!

  14. Happy anniversary and congrats on 25 years!!

  15. Happy Anniversary. Indeed all your words are so true and I agree. Respect and communication are of the most importance. The bottle of beer is a great vtt. Thanks for sharing.

  16. Suzanne, Happy Anniversary to you and hubby. It is truly a blessing to be joined with the person meant for you. You will definitely enjoy the journey to the 50th. Sweet Old Bob and I will be celebrating our 53rd in June. We are a rarity these days but you have what it takes to make it. Enjoy the journey. Ginger :)

  17. WOW!! Happy 25th Anniversary, Suzanne!! wish i was there to share a glass of bubbly with you!! here's to many, many more!! xx

  18. Congratulations! What fun to have a vintage bottle of champagne from your wedding. I'll raise a glass in toast to another 25 years. ~ Sarah

  19. Hi Suzanne! Happy Anniverary!!! What a great post! I'm your newest follower. You'll find yourself on my bloglist. I'm so excited about linking in for Vintage Thingy Thurs.
    Now that we know were we are in Blogland, let's not be strangers;)

  20. Hello Suzanne and Happy Anniversary!
    Marriage is certainly a long, strange trip. We'll celebrate 33 years in August -- wow. I am not sure I'd characterize staying together as "work," but I do know that a successful marriage does take thought and nurturing.

    Did you crack open the champagne? :-)

  21. Happy Anniversary, Suzanne. Everything is well said! Hope you have another at least 50 more happy years together....Christine

  22. Good morning Suzanne, I wish you a wonderful 25th Anniversary. It is a milestone to be proud of for sure. Your post says it all. I can't believe it but we will be married 50 years in 2013. We ask ourselves where did the years go? Open that champagne and celebrate. You are halfway there.
    Love and blessings are sent to both of you today.

    I did a little shoutout for you on my post today.

  23. Hi Suzanne,

    I've been AWOL from VTT for a long time - - - mostly 'cause I already showed all my vintage stuff.

    But, I linked up today AND I've already made the rounds and commented on just about every one of the links!

  24. You may have had some trials during this time, but they passed and you both are stronger for it. The best is yet to come.

  25. Happy Anniversary! Wow, 25 years! Congratulations! My husband and I are coming up to our 7th. In 7 years, it's already been a bumpy road and many times, we were close to throwing the towel but we knew marriage is sacred and is hard work! So glad we did stick it out. It's always after the trials that things turn out better and stronger!

  26. Great Post! You sure hit the nail on the head. I've been married for 16 years and its NOT easy. If my husband could hear the things I mumble under my breath as I pick up his dirty clothes off the floor we probably would be in divorce court. I would love to throw all his stuff out the window quite often but I love him never the less.My heart still skips a beat when I see him. He travels for work about a week a month and its GOOD to have the time to miss him. My advice to newlyweds... don't expect perfection and keep dating each other. Even its once a month to a movie or dinner. It really helps to take the time to reconnect.

  27. Happy Anniversary!! Marriage is work but for those of us who endure it just gets richer through the years!! May you blessed with many many more years together!!

  28. What a great post! I wish more young people today would seriously think about what it is that they are doing, and really work to make their marriages last. No, it is not all fun and fluff and romance. It may never be romance, but you have to think back to what it was that attracted you to your spouse to begin with, and remember that thing every time you see him or her. Love grows better the older it gets.


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