Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka the gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.
Only five minutes
Ready. Set. Go......
If I knew I could, I'd turn back the hands of time and do so many things so differently. If I knew I could, I'd go back twenty three years, when I stopped having children after two, I'd of had one more. Funny, how you long for something that at the time, you never even thought about. Its hard to watch your children grow up and sail off to their own worlds.
There is a sense of pride to know that they can make it on their own, but I often wish, I'd had one more, or at the very least adopted one more or two. When you are younger and raising children, you often long for a nice peaceful house, but when you find yourself years later in the midst of a very silent house, it is just not that fun....I miss my kids terribly. I miss the loudness, the arguing, and I even miss all their dirty laundry and dishes.
If I knew I could, I would open my own business which I am certain I'd be good at and be able to run efficiently. It is one thing to "think" you'd do fine, but it is another entirely to "know" you'd make it. I hate living with regrets, and this is one thing I really regret. I wish I'd of pushed myself more, and just did it when I thought I could not fail.
If I knew I could, I would go back and sit one last time with my grandparents, aunt, mother in law and my dad, whom are all gone from us now. I'd take the time to make sure each one knew what a difference they made in my life and the lives of my family. Each is different, but the feelings are the same....I should have not waited, I should have done more to let them know how special they were. It is hard to live with that sometimes, I miss them so much, my heart hurts from it. If only I knew I could....I would.