The words I thought I'd never hear.......

" Well, just get rid of what you can, if you can. If you can't, well, we will move it and you can get rid of it later if need be"......those were the words my husband spoke softly to me this evening. The same husband who has spend years complaining about my habit of bringing mismatched dishes, do-dads, vintage finds, linens, and so forth just looked at me and spoke those words. And the most heart warming part of it all, I know that he meant what he said.

We are going to put our house up on the market and I am trying to clear this house out and do so quickly so we can get it listed with a Realtor. We have found a house we want to buy, and I need to sell our house. The main problem is, there are 30 plus years of stuff to sort through and purged and ready for a sale. Then, the stuff I want to keep needs to be packed to be moved. It's really nothing new to the world of moving, it is just very new to me. We have lived in the same house since before we were married, so you can imagine the daunting task of it all...and as most of you all know....I have lots of stuff that I love.

This evening I sat on the floor of our living room sorting boxes of dishes. I'd have a plate in hand and move it to the toss pile and before I could sit it on the top of the box, I'd swing my hand to the keep pile. I seriously found myself remembering when I purchased certain pieces and I could actually recall specific details from when they were purchased. This went on for several minutes and I began to sweat and feel an anxiety attack coming on. My husband glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and I just burst into tears. The look on his face said it all, I am sure he knew I had truly lost it after all these years.

I really could not get a grip on what I was feeling. I tried explaining to him, I knew I wanted to let go of this stuff and not take it with me. I knew I had no plans to use it, or need for it. I knew all of these things, but the thing that stirred me the most was the fact that all of this stuff that I have acquired was more than just stuff in a box. So much of all these vintage treasures were things that filled my life with a little happiness during a very dark time in my life. So in a way, it might be like saying goodbye to a therapist once you were able to let the things go that had a hold of your life. The good news in all of this is I am no longer in that dark place and have moved past it for a good while now. It was confusing as to why this was bothering me as I sat in the floor surrounded by so many things I really did not need or want.....but I did not want to let them go either.

But during my total meltdown, my husband spoke those words and something in the way he said them, changed my feelings. It was the tone in his voice that spoke volumes to me and turned my melt down into determination to finish what I set out to do this evening. He even offered his own advice when I asked him if we should keep this or that...and we have a huge pile to sell, and only a couple of boxes to keep. Out of all the china plates I sorted tonight, I kept only one pattern of small plates because I truly love that pattern and only five large plates. I put over fifty in a pile to get rid of.....and I have boxes upon boxes to sort still.

My family has teased me for years that my collecting is a sickness and we have joked about it more times than I can count. They may well have been truly right in that statement, but for the first time, I think I am on my way to getting over that sickness...and I have the boxes piled high full of treasures to sell to prove it.

~ this is going to be a journey like none other!

Screen Doors......Old Screen Doors

There are certain things that creep into my thoughts from my childhood at the most unexpected times. Sometimes, things I have not thought about in years, or things I gave up on obtaining many years ago.

This past week, out of the blue one of those memories came flooding back into my mind and it was quickly added on a "must have" list I am making as we are in the process of looking for a new or at least new to us house to purchase this year......let me just say it is a daunting task...house hunting that is.

It occurred to me this week, that my kids have never known the sound of the spring stretching on an old screen door as it opens, and then the quick slamming sound as it pops back against the door frame.

My grandmother had an old screen door on her porch that lead to her back yard. Many a Sunday afternoons were spent when I was a young girl of me running out that old screen door. Then as I would turn loose of the wood frame,  and as the door slammed shut, I remember my mom and aunt always in unison yelling..."don't slam the door" and before they could get the words out...the door popped shut and off the porch I would go. Honestly, I did not really slam the door, the door just sorta slammed itself.

There isn't anything at all romantic about an old screen door, but the memories they evoke are the romantic fibers of my heart. I can remember as if it was yesterday, the smell of Sunday chicken frying from my grandma's kitchen. My mom and aunt would be working right alongside my grandma and  the meals they turned out of that kitchen are the memories that can make your mouth water. 

I always loved her screen door, I loved the smooth feel of the plain iron handle, nothing fancy, just functional, but it had a certain feel in my young girls hand. I loved the safety lock which was nothing more than a simple eye hook and hook. I liked locking and unlocking that door as I stood looking out into the back yard. I also loved locking my sister (clearly by accident) out of the kitchen. I loved the chippy paint and I loved how my grandma had little square patches for repairs in the screen of the door.

I wish my kids had been able to experience the simplicity of old screen doors. We always had storm doors on the front of our home. My kitchen door was not to where I could put up a screen door as the pitch of the roof outside the back door would not allow for one. Thus I gave up that dream of having a screen door long ago. It occurred to me, kids today for the most part, never will know the sounds, feels and fascination like I always had with my grandma's screen door.

My must have list for my new house has included a door in the kitchen to the outside, and one that will allow for an old fashion screen door. I don't want a new one, I want an old one. I want one that evokes all the nostalgia and memories I carry in my heart of days gone by. I want to recreate all the warm and fond memories that came from inside that screen door on Sunday afternoons in the summertime. 

I wonder....is it really the screen door itself that holds my fascination and longings? Or is it the memories that are intertwined with the memory of a certain screen door my heart is longing for?

It is a rather simple item to be added to a list of "must haves" in searching for a new house, but one that I don't see myself crossing off the list as not attainable. 

Oh, and about that list......there are really two list....one that I talk about with my husband......and then one that is written in my heart. The second list is the one I am afraid I stay a little more focused on most of the time. The old screen door is item number three on the list.......stay tuned.