Sometimes You Really Can't Dream How Good Things Will Turn out!

House update:

When you sell all of your excess belongings, and stage your home so it is ready to go on the market, one of the most important things you can do is declare to the universe what you want and who you'd like to buy your home.

That is exactly what Steve and I did......we talked about what we wanted to get out of the sale of the house and ideally who we would like to purchase our home. The checklist was not too long.....

1. we agreed on a dollar amount

2. we wanted a young family who might be looking for a long term home

3. we wanted a family (like we saw ourselves thirty plus years ago) one with young children

4. I wanted someone who would love my home and appreciate all the things that make it special

The house went on the market.

In less than twenty four hours, we had two offers from three showings. One was 15000.00 over asking price. We were blown away...literally. I was thrilled because if they wanted to spend that much to get my home, they surely loved it. I was excited, but the thought did cross my mind that all of the boxes were not checked or at least to my knowledge were not checked. However,  they did love my home and it was a young family, but this time, the universe did not align and the couple found out the day they made the offer that the husband was being relocated for his job and they were crushed, as well as we were, when they knew they could not buy our house and had to back out of the contract during the option period.

So, our agent contacted the other family to let them know we were still accepting offers, but it was a no go. Talk about a let down...and here we were right back at the start of it all. 

What does that really mean, the start of it all?? Well, it means keeping your house spotless.....it means training your husband to use a swiffer and use it rather quickly and efficiently on a moments notice.....it means rushing home from work, with thirty minutes to dash in, make sure every thing is perfect and dash out with four dachshunds in tow and riding around the city, while hoping the dog who gets car sick does not decide to throw up in your car....it means eating out EVERY. SINGLE. DAY ...as we have to keep the kitchen spotless....it means doing this multiple times a day, each day. 

We got discouraged rather quickly...we are homebodies...and we were put out of our home and well..it was rather uncomfortable. We knew to expect a little discomfort, but I don't think we were truly prepared for the DISCOMFORT we felt in the whole process of selling a house. Oh, and if you have not guessed it by now, we have never sold a home or moved in all our adult lives. Yes, trying to say the least.

So we waited, and had another showing, and two days later we had another showing and this time we got another offer......price was good.....however the contract had stipulations that did not set well with me....we accepted the offer, but I felt a unsettling that I could not put my finger on. This time, as far as I could tell, there was only one box checked off our wish list and it truly had me on edge. Long story short, they backed out during the option period.....wasted our time and took the house off the market for almost a week. So again here we are back at the start of it all....and  you know what that means...discomfort! Three days went by without a showing once it was back on the market......

....we felt panicked....reason being, we found our home we wanted to buy, we just needed to sell our house and sell it within 30 days to be able to purchase the home we wanted. It was so stressful and heart wrenching to think it might not work out.

Tuesday of this week, we had a showing and that sparked the same ole same ole....rush home, swiffer flying across the floor in record time, curtains spruced and pillows fluffed...scentsy burners going, lights on, backing out the door with four dogs in my arms surveying how my home will look to someone walking in for the first time....dashing to the car and pulling away as the Realtor pulls up. Same routine...but something felt different this time......crossing fingers.

Wednesday morning came....and we  got feedback from the Realtor that showed the house. She said she could certainly tell the pride of ownership from the homeowners and that it was a JOY to show our house. She said her clients were thinking it over and would let us know. We were  really starting to think maybe we were not supposed to sell our house and possibly we would just stay put. We were stressed out beyond imagination.....both of us had short fuses and aggravated at the fact we wanted this to go so smoothly but it in fact was turning into a roller coaster of a ride with nothing but stress and we were deciding we were all but ready to bale all together.

When you think you have just about given up holding on to a dream, I am here to tell you, just hold on a little bit longer.....and then it happened.

Our Realtor called, and the people who saw our house the day before had submitted their offer. We were stunned into disbelief. Their offer was a CASH offer and a price we are more than happy to accept. They pay closing cost, survey cost, title company cost. We are not responsible for any of those cost. No option period, no inspection, no appraisal. We close on the 12th of November and they have agreed to lease us two extra weeks after the 12th so we can get closed on our new house free of charge. WE. ARE. STILL. STUNNED.  The couple wanting our house even submitted a personal letter to Steve and I and that really sealed the deal. That letter was the most heartfelt letter, and it brought Steve and I both to tears.

Once the shock of the day settled, it became apparent to us that what we said we wanted when we sold our house was exactly what we got in the end, even if there were bumps in the road to get to the destination. I really believe the  first two offers that did not go through for two different reasons, only happened in order to take my home off the market for a few days. That was just enough time for the family looking for the right home to find ours. I have said all along...timing...it is everything.

Oh, and our checklist.....

1. We got the offer we wanted

2. We have a young family with small children purchasing our home who will have family close. (just like we did all those years ago)

3. They love my home and all the details I put into my home

It has been a whirlwind and a roller coaster of emotions, from super happy to super sad. We are elated at the sale of your house...and sad at the same time to be leaving where so much of our lives have happened. Then, on the flip side of that, we are so excited for the next chapter in our lives....like a fresh start with the home of our dreams and looking forward for what is to come. This is where we will spend the next chapter of our lives....we are excited.

I am thankful today for very dear friends who have walked this journey with us, I am thankful that I believe in positive thinking, I am thankful for St. Joseph and St. Jude who no doubt had a hand in all of this house selling business, I am thankful beyond words that this family will love and care for my home after we are gone...I feel it in my soul that the right family has found where their lives will happen and will love and care for our home the same way we have.

If you want something....say it out loud to the universe....it will come to pass. It may not  be in the way or time frame you had in mind...but it will work out in the end.  The cherry on it all is when things work out far better than you could have ever dreamed possible.

I'll keep you all posted on how this all goes...but I am  thinking smooth sailing now!
 

The words I thought I'd never hear.......

" Well, just get rid of what you can, if you can. If you can't, well, we will move it and you can get rid of it later if need be"......those were the words my husband spoke softly to me this evening. The same husband who has spend years complaining about my habit of bringing mismatched dishes, do-dads, vintage finds, linens, and so forth just looked at me and spoke those words. And the most heart warming part of it all, I know that he meant what he said.

We are going to put our house up on the market and I am trying to clear this house out and do so quickly so we can get it listed with a Realtor. We have found a house we want to buy, and I need to sell our house. The main problem is, there are 30 plus years of stuff to sort through and purged and ready for a sale. Then, the stuff I want to keep needs to be packed to be moved. It's really nothing new to the world of moving, it is just very new to me. We have lived in the same house since before we were married, so you can imagine the daunting task of it all...and as most of you all know....I have lots of stuff that I love.

This evening I sat on the floor of our living room sorting boxes of dishes. I'd have a plate in hand and move it to the toss pile and before I could sit it on the top of the box, I'd swing my hand to the keep pile. I seriously found myself remembering when I purchased certain pieces and I could actually recall specific details from when they were purchased. This went on for several minutes and I began to sweat and feel an anxiety attack coming on. My husband glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and I just burst into tears. The look on his face said it all, I am sure he knew I had truly lost it after all these years.

I really could not get a grip on what I was feeling. I tried explaining to him, I knew I wanted to let go of this stuff and not take it with me. I knew I had no plans to use it, or need for it. I knew all of these things, but the thing that stirred me the most was the fact that all of this stuff that I have acquired was more than just stuff in a box. So much of all these vintage treasures were things that filled my life with a little happiness during a very dark time in my life. So in a way, it might be like saying goodbye to a therapist once you were able to let the things go that had a hold of your life. The good news in all of this is I am no longer in that dark place and have moved past it for a good while now. It was confusing as to why this was bothering me as I sat in the floor surrounded by so many things I really did not need or want.....but I did not want to let them go either.

But during my total meltdown, my husband spoke those words and something in the way he said them, changed my feelings. It was the tone in his voice that spoke volumes to me and turned my melt down into determination to finish what I set out to do this evening. He even offered his own advice when I asked him if we should keep this or that...and we have a huge pile to sell, and only a couple of boxes to keep. Out of all the china plates I sorted tonight, I kept only one pattern of small plates because I truly love that pattern and only five large plates. I put over fifty in a pile to get rid of.....and I have boxes upon boxes to sort still.

My family has teased me for years that my collecting is a sickness and we have joked about it more times than I can count. They may well have been truly right in that statement, but for the first time, I think I am on my way to getting over that sickness...and I have the boxes piled high full of treasures to sell to prove it.

~ this is going to be a journey like none other!

March Roared In Like a Lion......and not in a good way.

March roared in like a lion for me this year. With the coming of March, also unexpected things happened and the most eye opening lessons learned as well. I was happy to bid March goodbye as even up until the very last second of that month, the lion still roared. I still hear the loud lengthy roar in my head and am most weary from it all.

Short version of the month past is the first of the month my husband fell ill and was hospitalized in ICU. He is better now and is feeling better, but not where I want him to be. That might have been just enough of out of the ordinary to handle, but that ole lion had other plans for the rest of the month. He decided to make his presence known around every turn and keep his paw in more than what should have been allowed. It has been a draining time. I know just because the month ended that does not mean the shadow of that lion is not still around. I hope his presence weakens and hope I have the courage to face whatever the shadow cast on our walls.

With that being said, I certainly learned a lot from the month of March. Sometimes it takes a crises to open our eyes at what we choose not to see. It is easy to overlook what you really don't want to face and pretend things are not as they are. What the Month of March taught me are listed below, a reminder if I need to re-read them as I keep thinking of days ahead.

1. I learned that my thoughts on growing older have been easier to handle by totally ignoring any of the signs that presented themselves to me. It is easier to dismiss what you don't want to see or acknowledge, then it is to face it head on. I remember feeling utter shock as I sat in my husbands hospital room and wondered how and when we became "old". Seriously....how did that happen....the only way to describe that was shock. I learned that our hourglass has run out of sand and now it is time to face the music and do something about all the things we have ignored. Total wake up call.

2. I learned that the people who should be there for you in a crisis won't be. I also learned it is in those who you would never expect to fill those shoes do so and do it so willingly. I also learned that it does not matter how much you have done for individuals in the past, how much time you have invested in them, how much thought and love went into trying to enrich their lives and make their life easier when they needed it. You can never expect the same in return. It is better to expect nothing. Less hurt that way. (I also know it is not in the things that I have done that should make me deserving of anything. It is just when the people who you would expect to be there in some capacity, and when they are not...well.....you get the idea.)

3. I learned where I focus a lot of my time is time wasted. I learned that things that occupy my free time is not what is really important in the grand scheme of things. I am making adjustments.

4. I learned that my own fear is crippling. So much so it clouds good judgement. So much so, that no matter the fact, I know what I need to do, it is so hard to take that first step. I am a work in progress. I need to find the courage and find it quick.

5. I learned that everyone will not respect your story as your own. After much thought, I am not sure it is a lack of respect of the story, but of the people themselves. I find that folks want to know all the details of a crisis, not because it is any of their business, but simply they want to have something to go tell every person they can think of from the far regions. Funny thing is, these are the same people who demand respect for their particular stories and expect them not to be told. I have a dear friend who in passing told me she did not give out any details of what was going on...she told me it was not her story to tell. Respect and care for me was her concern. She really has no idea how this radiated with me. I know the value of this friend.

6. I learned that from now on, when I offer to help someone and ask if there is anything I can do, I know that question is just is not enough. I learned that when a person is going through something hard, they have no idea what they need. Seriously. I told caller after caller that I did not need anything but thanks anyway. Luckily, some folks decided they would take matters into their own hands. They provided exactly what I (we) needed even with strong protest from me in the process. I told myself that I would never ask again....I would put something into action. Big lesson learned here.

7. I learned to never take for granted the people who fill your heart with happiness....because it can all come crashing down in a blink of an eye.

8. I learned that life is so short and for years I have overlooked that fact and lived like I had all the time in the world. I am so fearful I won't have the time left to do all I had hoped to do. Make each day count...we are never ever guaranteed another day after this one.

9. I learned that there are things that happen that can not be explained where others understand them. It is not a part of their story and if they choose not to believe like you do that is ok. If I have learned one thing about myself it would be I am gifted many unusual things that occur in my life and it is because I am open to the unexplainable and I believe and see the meaning when they occur. It is a blessing.

10. I learned that no matter how heavy your heart is, no matter how tired you are, no matter how fearful you are of the truth, no matter how you feel you can't take another step towards the unknown - you can. You must. You will.

I am expecting that lion to decide to sleep again soon and things return to how I would prefer them to be. This photo sorta sums up how I feel about that....better keep a look out for that lion even if he decides to sleep....he might be peaking around the corner of his eye. 

Things very well may be different than what I had a month ago, but different is better than not at all. Here's hoping for a wonderful Spring as we welcome in April and hoping I don't hear that roar in my head for a while.

What I am doing today......

.....aside from the usual, like getting the laundry done and ready for the week, or a quick trip to the grocery store for groceries I might need for the week, or doing a little housework that needed to be done from the past week.......

I decided to tackle trying to get a little headway on my sewing room. It is out of control. Actually, more like I am out of control. I sat in that room this morning and looked around and seriously had a thought that if I started today sewing with all of the fabric I have, I'd not outlive using it all up.

How is this possible, that I have not been quilting that long, and to have a room full like I do is rather shameful. This is just one small corner.....(that I am willing to show) And...in defense of this mess, these are two sets of fabrics I am using at the moment to make my jubilee quilts. The problem I have is that  I don't buy small amounts of fabrics, I buy YARDAGE. I guess I do that so I have enough and not run out......but in all actuality, I won't want to use this fabric again in another quilt. Right? .......Right?? Not yardages of it anyway. Gads!

I did manage to pack a box of stuff I don't need and know I won't use. I have another box that is the same type of stuff and I just need to remove it from the room. I always have bright ideas and pinterest is a huge influence on those ideas, but somehow they don't come to life and I get tired of looking at the materials for projects I have lost interest in.

For at least the NEXT YEAR.....

I am not going to buy another piece of fabric. I will use what I have and make due.

I am not entering any more giveaways for fabric via blogs....no matter how tempting it is.

I am not going to take advantage of any more GREAT deals via Facebook or the internet. In fact, I unliked several of those sights this morning from facebook.

I am not going to the LQS and shop their bargain shelves.

I am going to weed out some of this expensive fabric and precuts I have been holding onto and list them in my etsy shop soon.I will be happy when someone wants to purchase it for their own projects.


Once I get this room more manageable and I feel like I can breath in that room....I am next going to cull out a lot, or more like most all of the vintage dishes I have stored everywhere. I need to lighten my load and I have decided I don't need this stuff anymore like I used to feel I did. I always had big plans on using all of this stuff but the likelihood of that happening is slim to none and I am tired of seeing it all over the house.

Of course, I should have decided to do this when the weather was a lot better and had a garage sale. Now the weather is not the best which means I still need to find a place to store it all until I can have a sale. But rest assured....it is going. And soon.

The Voice Of Your Comments

Blog Comments.....we all love them, we love getting them. For many, even in the hustle and bustle, we read a post and comment, or maybe we don't comment at all. That comment could take the form of a pat on the back, or a high five at a great find or a word of encouragement.

What happens when a comment you left for someone takes on a voice in that persons ear that is totally not the voice you had in your heart? It happens, and it happened to me and I have to say, I was left feeling pretty bad about the whole thing, still do.

Worse yet, being totally unaware that anything I had said would have been offensive, I found out about it via a blog post. My name was not mentioned, but my words jumped off the page at ME as I read the post about the situation. First thing I thought was.."Oh, my gosh...what did I say???" and discovered when I went to reread my words that yes, I did use those certain words, but they were interpreted and taken totally out of content from the way I meant them.

What was worse, I quickly discovered because that is what we do, (go read who the nasty person is that would say such a thing) that my comment was the only one that contained those certain words...so "Outed for all of BLOG LAND to read".......I was crushed. Truly. Not so much as to the "outing" but more so of the fact that my words seemed to carry a voice in someones ear,  that does not match my heart and they were deemed offensive to another person.

In visiting blogs and commenting, I don't know about you, but I read the post and sometimes I just fire off a comment without much thought to how my words will read. I know in my heart and head what I mean by them, but what happens when someone else does not hear it in the same tone or get what you are saying?

It is a lesson for me that I need to be more careful how I say things because the farthermost thing from my heart is to offend someone who I take the time to leave a comment for. I know there are folks out there that do enjoy leaving comments that are not so nice, but I don't fall under that category, that is not who I am.

Likewise, I have often read comments left for others and when I read them, thought to myself..that was rude....but maybe the person who the comment was left for never felt that way. It is all in the way we read something I guess that determines the interpretation. Everyone walks a different path and maybe we pull feelings from words we read from past experiences or hurts in our own lives. What someone says to one person may be fully understood but saying the very same thing to another, well it becomes judgmental and offensive.

My response to all of this was to immediately email the person and tell them that I did not mean what I said the way they read it, and apologize. Honestly, that was probably not the best thing to do either.....but I felt it was right to do.

All I know is I need to be more mindful of how my words will read to someone else because the very last thing I want to do moving forward is to have to apologize for offending anyone and trying to explain that the voice they heard was not the voice of my heart.

Life lesson today: Choose your words very carefully.

Tell Me Tuesday: Cancelled this week...............

.....there will be no Tell me Tuesday this week......I have suddenly been thrown into things and I can keep a schedule......am I happy about it??...no.....am I going to do something about it???....I don't know if I really can.....but I do know I don't have the good sense today to get a post up...I am tired, frazzled, and just not myself...so I will leave you with a cute picture....hopefully, I can be here for Thursday...no promises. Have a little patience.

Sammy enjoying a nap....I wish I was laying down beside him napping right along with him.

Where Am I? I seem to be lost......

I have asked that very thing...over and over....Where has the person I call myself gone??? A few short years ago, I could work circles around anyone I knew. I'd start early in the morning and not stop until way in the night. Now....half way through the day, I am out of steam. Worn out.

I am finding that I am not familiar with this person I call myself these days. Likewise, I really don't care much for them. I don't like not getting everything done that I feel I should be accomplishing day to day. Why does it seem so hard to focus on any one task for very long? Why is that so hard when several years ago it was not. I feel like Maxine.....where has my Stuff gone?????

I am worn out tonight....and I should not be. I am tired, and discouraged as I guess it is a sign of getting older. Or a sign I need to get myself in gear and get in better shape. It is hard to admit that might be the very problem. What a cycle...needs more energy...has no energy to start.....wow.....I have decided old age is not so fun....or the very feeling that you are getting old......think I will call it a night....Oh.....and it is only 8:00pm.

In considering Maxine's advice....stop whining.....tomorrow is another day......maybe if I don't look too hard, my old self might show back up....with all the stuff that seems to have gone missing as well!! Ahem...... I will at least be optimistic!

Consumer Alert - Pricing at Walmart

Most folks that know me personally have heard me say I don't prefer shopping at Walmart at all. I do however for the sake of convenience stop in about 3 times a month for something quick I might need but usually it is only for one or two things. I don't do my regular grocery shopping there at all ~ ever. 


AND THIS IS WHY

Last month not once but THREE times when I ran into the store for bell peppers and onions when I mysteriously ran out at home, found this at the checkout. If you do the grocery shopping, you know the cost of GREEN bell peppers, and you know the cost of the pretty ORANGE, RED, and YELLOW ones too. The green ones are considerably less always.

Is it a new way to get a few more cents out of the unsuspecting consumer?? I don't know, but you can bet I won't forget them on my next grocery shopping outing at my local grocery store.

When all your pennies count....it pays to pay attention especially during the hurry and rushed season upon us....and shame on Walmart I say! I'd have acknowledged it being a mistake once...but three times in one month is a little eye raising for me! Just thought you'd want to know.

** I did call it to the managers attention the very first time it happened and he said he would take care of it....after the third time in the same month....I guess he forgot.

A Crisis With Identy

I am beginning to hesitate before I open my email! Seriously. This story is true. Every word of it. I will tactfully or at least with every bit of tact I can muster, try to explain how you just never know what might be around the corner....I kid not!

Last weekend, there was a message in my "comments" section of my blog waiting to be moderated and published. I read it, without even paying any attention to who it was written by. Confused by what the message said, I glanced again at who sent it....um..... imagine my surprise when I saw "coloradolady" sent it to me.

Here is said message:

"I want the readers here to know I am the original Coloradolady. I have been the Coloradolady since the 1990s. I do not and never will stand behind what is written here, nor support it. This was not written by me. I am the original. I hope my readers don't think I am this person."

OK....seriously....what the heck????. I read it again and then did a little probing into this statement. I quickly discovered whomever sent this, is correct, I have a feeling they would not like what I stand for or talk about. Original??????...I am not so sure.

I see no reason to quote the email I received, I think you can get a feel for it, and let me just say, it was not a "Hi! how are you? I'm so glad to meet you" type email. Nope. None of that!

Fact Number 1: My daughter gave me this name back years ago when Craigslist started, and we were helping plan a wedding and I sometimes posted in the "wedding Forum" It was a brief stint with that to be sure. So when I decided I wanted to have a blog, even when I really did not even really know what a blog was, that is the title I used as my blog name. If I had of had a better idea on blogs and what they were, and I am most sure I would have went in a different direction and  I would have chosen a different title.

Fact Number 2: When I made my blog, had this title been taken, blogger would not have allowed it. I actually found blogger last, and had looked into wordpress and typepad...but that name was not taken. So I chose it. End of that you'd think.

Fact Number 3: I never even considered searching the name online. Never. Who would have known that this very thing might be a good idea????. Like I said, I really had no idea what a blog was about. I thought you'd write a post and 1000's of people would come comment and love you! Ha! That first post only got one comment and I have no idea how they even found me. (see, I told you I did not have a clue, for we all know that is not how it happens!)

Fact Number 4: Someone else thinks they are Coloradolady, well, actually I guess they are...just a very different one...and they don't seem to approve of asking for prayer for sick children. The don't seem to enjoy old junk or turning things from trash to treasure. This person must have something against quilts, fabrics and crafts. I don't think they like GW or Thrift shopping. They certainly don't believe such a thing as a happy marriage exist. I am thinking they don't like the idea of "play it forward" as well. That is okay...we are all different, we have that right...identity crisis!

Fact Number 5: THIS COLORADOLADY is real and what you see on The Coloradolady Blog is the real "me". This Coloradolady does not enter chat rooms, or post on controversial websites. This Coloradolady does not play online games using this handle. This Coloradolady does not record herself "singing" and post online for all to hear. This Coloradolady does not join on line dating services using this handle. I am sure from the unpleasant email I received, this person who calls themselves CL would be most happy for me to clear this up.

This really upset me, because I wonder what someone would think to find this online and not know there were two of us out there. Two who are very different in all aspects. Well, with the exception of the name and hopefully the love for Colorado.  I wondered if I should change my blog name, but I refuse. "The Coloradolady Blog" is something I have worked hard to build. It is honest, and real. It is not all  happy go lucky, there are real struggles and writing about them helps. But overall  I try and promote good things and thoughts. If someone has a problem with that, well, that really is not my problem.

But please, if you ever find something out there on line and wonder "What happened to her, that sounds nothing like Coloradolady" Please know....it is a mistake in identity. Please know, I only blog under this name...and absolutely nothing else.

I wonder if this happened to you, would you change your blog title? Am I really off the mark with this one? What would you do??? It sorta puts a whole new spin on a  Identity crisis doesn't it????

Through Peaks and Valleys - The Breaks Is Over No Matter!

Breaks.....they are supposed to calm the nerves, sooth the soul.....recharge the body so you are ready to begin again, to carry on. Heck, I even chuckled to myself as I typed that line. Who am I kidding......

Aside from all the things I "thought" I'd address, adjust, regroup while on my break, that just did not happen....I had such a guilty feeling. I don't know if it was for neglecting this blog, but more of the fact the guilt was over me just shoving something on the back burner that did not deserve to be shoved back.

Do you know what I mean? Anybody? Do I sound that far out in left field? I wonder.

I know life is a marvelous and a beautiful thing...but the roads we travel are sometimes not so nice and not so beautiful. Sometimes, they are the most treacherous encounters to the soul. Sometimes, no matter how we search for the blue skies and the singing birds, we only see dark gray skies and the buzzards that lurk to pick apart our souls. Sometimes....one can just wish for the loads to lighten, for the top of the mountain to come into view and know you are climbing out of the valley on to something great. Man....this sounds really dark and gloomy....when I guess most would think it should be all bright and cheery - with the break and all. Oh well.

I have to be honest and real here. Life is not always like a bowl of cherries...sometimes it is like the pits left behind in the bowl, not so pleasant. It can be demanding, sucking the life right out of you and leaving you feeling like the race you are running is for naught.  But hey...I'm back...gloom and all.....but hopefully, the mountain top will come into view soon.....

On a brighter note, I have lots of post in the works....sharing things I love, craft projects I enjoy and some really great and easy recipes to share.....and I am really looking forward to sharing them all with you.....oops...those ole black clouds just better watch out...I think maybe here comes the sun!

~ I hope in the morning I don't regret hitting publish on this post. *sigh*

Thanks my friends for always being there to read my garbage, never questioning, never demanding details of my words,  never judging.....just being. That is important.

Stacked....But For How Long??

When I was first married, I tried to impress my husband with his favorite, chocolate cake. I'd try baking round cakes, stacking them, and frosting them....more times than not, they went into the trash. Why you ask? Well, the darn layers just slid off of each other into a big mess on the kitchen cabinet. True.

So I gave that up rather quickly. If I could not make a cake in a 9X13 pan or a bundt cake pan....well, it just did not get made. I really have self esteem issues with round cakes. But today, after 25 years of staying away from the round cakes, I purchased the cake pans and tried again.

I ran, literally and got the camera while the cake was still stacked.....we'll see if it starts to slide as the afternoon progresses.

My grandmother made beautiful round stacked cakes. They were the picture of perfection and the taste was to die for. I make really good tasting cakes too....but they have to be in a sheet cake pan or well, no one would want to try it. I really need to get over this phobia of round cakes. I mean, how hard can I possibly make this? I see cakes all the time online and it does not look like there is any real secret involved. I just need to get over this fear of failing and just go with it.

ummm....in the meantime however, I don't think the local baker is worried about any new and upcoming competition.....just sayin. Oh, and in case you are wondering if the back part of the cake is a little lower than the front...well, as a matter of fact it is....must be something wrong with my oven...ahem!

......yeah...for the time being....stacked....I just don't know for how long!!

~ This should not be this hard!!!!!

A fashionista I Am Not...

I have a problem most of the time when it comes to shopping for clothes, and finding the right things to wear on special occasions. I say occasions loosely, because if I am honest here, I am a dress down sorta girl. I wonder if this is due to my incredible lack of style, or the simple fact, I have become lazy over the years. Comfort is the over all importance, in my choices most of the time. It never has bothered me before, so why is it bothering me now? Thoughts to ponder.....

Let me give you an example. Recently, I met a friend for lunch....same said friend whom I grew up with years ago and was recently reacquainted with. I stood in my closet and all that faced me was t-shirts, sweatshirts, jeans, and tennis shoes. Well, there were a few other things in that closet, but nothing I intended to wear. Not exactly the look I was going for. So I did what most of us would do, headed to the mall. Pure torture! I tell you sometimes, I feel like a candidate for the TV show, What Not To Wear. There are too many choices, and I seem to always pick the wrong things, I pick the comfy clothes over the stylish trends.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I always start out with great visions of picking out the perfect outfit, something exciting, something sophisticated, something super chic...but somehow, the clothes I chose just fall short...in my opinion.

This is the very shirt I purchased. And looking at this model, it looks pretty good on her, maybe if you look closely, a little sophisticated, or at the very least, a little chic, no? If you don't agree, maybe that is my problem all together.....I don't have a clue! Of course, I paired the shirt with dark gray jeans, a black cami and tennis shoes. Sorry, I know what your thinking, but they were nice tennis shoes, and, they are comfortable. just sayin'. But I am here to tell you, I looked nothing like this model. But I can say this, I was comfortable......sorta.

Now, my friend showed up for our lunch date looking like a model from Vogue. A black shirt, not this one, but a really cute black shirt, jeans, not high waist-ed jeans like these, but cute dark jeans, wonderful accessories, cute sandals....pure sophistication. (picture is just an idea of the difference in our choices) She really was better put together than this model here, she looked fantastic. We are the same age, well.....I am a month older, but why did I feel like someone's granny, which I'm not, but wished I was....and why was it my sweet friend, looked like she stepped out of a fashion magazine? And why am I willing to bet, she had no stress whatsoever on what she was going to wear.... unlike me.

Does this happen to you guys, or is it just me. I think I have just gotten used to dressing down all the time. I work in an environment that does not warrant nice clothes, so I only have a few things I consider dressy, and that leaves hardly any room for in between stuff. If I made better choices to begin with, maybe I'd not have a closet full and overflowing with clothes I feel just don't quiet reach the mark. I have a feeling this shirt will fall into the same pile of never to be worn again clothes....after all, it made me feel like a granny for goodness sake! That's right....blame it on the shirt...easy way out!

And to be honest with you, if I could be on this show and it not be televised for all the world to see my lack of style, I'd fill out the application today...I wonder sometimes what Stacy and Clinton would say if they followed me around with a hidden camera for two weeks....I shudder at the thought.

Anyone else ever feel this way?.......... Hello? ...............Anyone there?..........I don't want to be a granny lady......well, I do want to be a granny.....but I want to look like a young granny, not an old one.....Style....it is all about the style......or lack of...I think.

A Thought on Expectations

Expectations~ Have you ever thought about that word, really thought about it? Funny, how one word can take on a whole new meaning each and every time you fit it into a situation....or maybe not so funny.

To be honest, that is not a word I think about too often. However, the past couple of weeks, I certainly have contemplated it's meaning. Consequently, I discovered that while I am able to quickly find fault when this is applied to others or situations, likewise, when I looked closely, I found myself lacking as well.


Disclosure: I find that because of the nature of this topic, I may or may not point out what exact things in this post that may apply to me or someone else. Saying that, if you feel I am calling you out on my blog, know I am not......you have no idea the people I talk to on a daily basis, and well, this may be about them not you! Just let your conscious be your guide, not my words. I don't point fingers...only thoughts!

Sometimes, conversations trigger thoughts or words and their meanings for me. This is one of those times. More times than not, it can be a light bulb moment and while that is sometimes a positive experience, other times it has the opposite effect. I have discovered that expectation really does not have one meaning so easily sized up on Wiki....no, it has several meanings and circumstances play a big role.

According to Wikipedia, expectations is explained as; "In the case of uncertainty, expectation is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centred on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order.

Friendships and expectations are a tricky thing. Our friends are the ones who may or may not have "known" expectations in the relationship. Sometimes, months or years will pass and while all is going smoothly, you may not be aware of what is brewing underneath. It is almost like a silent code between friends has formed. It is the "expectation" of a friends' behavior, when not met that will send a once stable relationship on the brink of crashing. I think this is because somewhere during when the relationship was forming, one or both parties shaped their ideals of the relationship into what they expected from the other person. The lines were drawn in the sand and expectations were set up not to be crossed. Like I said, a silent code. A solid wall will tumble if the lines in the sand were crossed....and this became the thought process and the basis on which the worth of the friend was measured. If you find this bell rings true, think about the other person, do you think they might have built a wall very much like yours? What about their expectations?......hard to consider when you are hurt or feeling betrayed by your friend. But a good friend is not measured on how they live or not live up to your expectations. A good friend is measured on their ability to forgive our faults and build a stronger relationship and move forward. Important to remember.

The expectations that give people the most trouble in their lives are the unspoken expectations. I don't mean the expectations we have on our children or spouse, of course we expect certain things from them, sometimes we demand it. Those are really surface expectations and most of the time fall into the laws of nature and life. I am talking about things that are much deeper than that.

What about the expectations we have on others that just sit on the surface of our being? The one's that sit like a ticking time bomb. The one's that will come in the dark of the night and remind us that they or we don't measure up to our liking? Where do you think this comes from? Certainly not out of a sense of entitlement, at least for most of us I think it is much more.

Maybe it comes from a feeling we had during childhood, maybe a feeling of not being loved. Maybe it comes from a feeling of not being important enough and everyone always came before us on a scale of importance. Maybe it comes from the uncertainties we have about our own selves that we measure everyone by that same ruler. Or perhaps it is something much deeper than that. I know I don't have the answers. All I know is that whatever the reasons are....sometimes, for some people the hurt is so deep from expectations falling short in others or themselves that it becomes a driven force in their lives. A force to protect oneself from continued hurt. A driven force to over compensate for the hurt. Is that a healthy thing to do? I'm not sure, all I do know we can't change others, if we could, (I for one) would most likely always question their motives and wonder if they were true. You see, I know myself....I'd still be looking back. Think about that one.

I have discovered more and more lately, that people are living their lives by a code of expectations. It festers in their relationships with family, coworkers, friends and strangers. It is a unspoken fact that this exist, and sometimes only a piece of this will show up in a conversation or a random act. Sometimes, it is hard not to say,"stop, think about what you just said." Where did that thought come from......how can it be changed.

It is however, the things that have no expectations on them at all that become the sweet spots in life. Sadly, that usually does not involve humans or interactions with them.

Have you ever wondered why dogs live such easy lives? They have no expectations on their owners at all. They live their lives expectation free. In fact, no matter what the owner does, it is quickly forgotten and forgiven, and all is right with the world. I don't even think my own dogs expect me to even feed them, they just know it will be. They have no expectations of me getting up on time to do so, no expectations of me to get home from a shopping trip to do so, no expectation of me getting off the computer to do so, they just know it will be. And well, if I fall short and run a little late, all is forgotten and forgiven....I had no expectation put on me in the first place.

I say what a life....I wish more of us could live our lives like that....lose the expectations and hurt that seems to surface at inopportune times and enjoy life to the fullest. I find more and more that true life lessons come from my dogs not people I know.....think about that.

I had someone say to me the other day, (when I tried to talk about this very thing with them), that if someone has no expectations then they will get nothing out of life. Certainly, this is true in some things, but they did not get what I was really meaning....the unspoken expectations, the ones that will most likely never be met, the ones that cause the most grief and hurt....the one's that are the hardest to move forward from and seem to only keep us looking back. I never reached them, they did not get what I was saying. Maybe because I had no answers they wanted to hear.

Problem is, I don't have any answers, not ones that is universal to everyone...each person carries their own set of struggles, thoughts and motives and how do you say one thing is the cause for everyone? I certainly can not. All I can do is recognize that these types of expectations are unrealistic in every form, they will never measure up to your standards, they will never be met......and maybe just maybe....it is time to work on a new set of expectations or trying to live without them at all. Something to think about...actually for me, a lot to think about. I am not saying I have mastered this way of living...but I recognize I need to move in that direction.


Everyday is a life's lesson......take that knowledge or thought, make a change, life will be a little richer!
~The Coloradolady

Talk About Seeing Spots!

I happen to be very fond of spotted things....I think polka dots, spots, and specks all fall under the "cuteness" category. I mean, seriously, just look at this dachshund's coat and tell me you agree that spotted coat is just the cutest thing....This by the way, is a pin I purchased off of Etsy, and I don't even wear it for fear of messing it up. You'll understand that statement in a minute!

I love polka dot fabrics, and fabrics with dots....I intend to use this in a quilt, that is if I ever get around to it! But Oh, how I love the polka dot fabrics......

....this on the other hand, is not my idea of a lovely looking spotted anything....my pretty white carpet is now SPOTTED with burn marks. How did that happen you ask? Well, I will tell you this much, it had to do with cold weather, a fire in the stove, and me trying to turn a log. It was only a single log in there mind you, but somehow it shot out onto the floor, burning SPOTS in my carpet.

Yes, I did it....all by myself....I was the only one home....it is a wonder I did not burn the house down....and you know what? All I was worried about was, "Where are the dogs!" I was so afraid they would come running in the living room thinking I was having fun with a new toy and get burned.....I know I said I wanted new floors this year...but I promised my husband I did not intend to get them this way.......remember I said I loved spots! Hhummmmm

Most of all, I especially like spots on my dogs....speaking of dogs, they were snuggled up in front of the fire keeping warm.....Dora opened her eyes long enough to see what the commotion was all about and decided she did not want her nap cut short with brooms, dust pans, and wet towels.......do you blame her? I think she sometimes feels I go overboard with the things I like.....spots included!

Please tell me I am not the only one who does crazy things.....things that I never hear happening to anyone else....please tell me you like the spots.....on the carpet that is......because it sure seems like a long time until summer....and the new floors!