Monday, December 14, 2015

So This Is Where The Long Journey Lead us............Today!

Update on the last few days:.....Thursday December 10th we closed on our little house on Winnie Street. The beloved little house no longer belonged to us, but to a new family. There was not much time for crying, although there were tears shed, but we had to get busy with a plan to get our stuff moved from our home to "some place" soon. That morning, we were told from the closing on our new house would not be happening until this morning December 14th and we have to be totally gone from our house by December 15th. We were totally panicked at what to do. Graciously, the home owner of our new house with the prodding from his wife no doubt allowed us to move our belongings into the garage and shed of the new house, just not in the house itself until today.

So that is what we have been doing ever since...moving...load after load! My brother and my niece and her boyfriend helped with all the major things, and heavy stuff, thanks be to them, they were life savers. We should finish up today, and in the morning move our bed and the dogs after we clean one last time. I spend one whole afternoon patching nail holes and repainting every room where it needed to be touched up. I can not tell you how many people told me I was nuts to do that, it was not something I needed to do. I just said, yes it is and I did it. That is how I do things, I would expect someone to do that for me, even if they wouldn't, so I certainly expect no less of myself. We are almost to the closing of the door one last time, it is still a hard thought to conceive, but I'm feeling better about it.

The story for today is one I never expected to tell. It comes from the unexpected and a request that every one I spoke with thought it was a little odd. In truth, it was the medicine my heart needed to heal a little quicker from all of this.

The new homeowners in the contract, requested a meeting with us and a walk through of the house when they got the keys. It was to be scheduled before we were totally moved out. So many people had told me they had not heard of that and it was a bit odd, I don't know if it common or not, but we had to agree to it none the less. On Thursday, after they signed the papers at closing, their Realtor had called our Realtor and said how excited they were and wanted to drive from Southlake to see the house, and unfortunately we were not home. We had left earlier in the day with a truck full and were unloading a truck at our new house full of boxes. I felt bad we were not there, but the lady called and we scheduled for Sunday afternoon instead. She told me how excited they were and they wanted to know how to care for the chickens. I got off the phone and felt a huge dread come over me, as I did not know how I would make it through that meeting not in a huge heap of tears.

Sunday afternoon, they came like scheduled. When I opened the front door, I just took a deep breath and greeted them and said, "Welcome to you new home!"

They are a sweet couple, maybe our age or a little older. Hard working, and thrilled to have our home. At first, it was a little awkward for us and them as well, because the silence for a few seconds was deafening...but I am usually not lack for words, so I just had to start blabbering like a fool at first to get the ice broken. I was amazed at the things they were most concerned with at the house. The wanted to know first thing, how to work the wood Stove. The told us how much the loved it and asked all kinds of questions. We took them room by room and they told us what the loved in each. The loved the bathroom and when I asked if they wanted me to leave the shower curtain they were thrilled, as it matches that bathroom perfectly. The loved the barn door closet doors in the bedroom and really love the master bath. I told them we made the vanity in the bathroom and where the wood had come from and we did that with our friend who is a carpenter. I could tell they loved it as much as we do. They wanted to know if I was taking the curtains in the house, which I was not as our Realtor told us we had to leave them. I guess they did not know that and was so happy as they said the loved the ones in the kitchen so much. I told them I had made them and they said they felt I was a crafty person.

The lady then told me how she had taken pictures of everything in my house when they were there at the inspection. She said she thought it was beautiful and was trying to find the things like we had as she wanted to make their home the same. She asked about a few things specifically and where I had gotten them, one being the iron decor piece that was behind the fireplace. She said she absolutely loved that and hoped that they could find one like it. I thought to myself, it was not likely they would because I had purchased that so many years ago. As you can imagine, the iron piece is now hanging back where it belongs...I went to the new house last evening and brought it back and hung it up behind the fireplace....I guess it was meant to stay because I honestly didn't know where I was even going to put it at the new house anyway. It will be there on Tuesday when they walk into their new house and will be a surprise.

I asked them if they wanted the sofa and the television stand. I could not believe the look on their faces when I asked them that. Our sofa is blue leather and she told me she had been looking for weeks for a sofa like it. She said they loved it and wanted one exactly like the one we had. She reminded me how they wanted to have things like I had in my home. We gave them those things and they were beyond thrilled. In all my years I don't believe any one has paid me a greater compliment than these people did on Sunday. They had been spending weeks since they signed the papers on this house looking for things like I had as she thought it was beautiful. I left them a picture I had on the wall and she asked where it was hanging, and said it would go back where it was originally. I could tell they were so excited and thrilled to have chosen our home.

The chickens and the coops were where we spent a lot of time. We went out there and I introduced them to all the chickens, explained how I take care of them, the food, bedding and stressed how spoiled they were. They wanted to know in detail how I have taken care of them and what they needed to do, and where to purchase what they needed. I have already purchased the bedding and food for at least a month, so they are in good shape there. The turning point from dread to knowing I had made the right choice in leaving the chickens was when she wanted to hold Rosie and her husband wanted to take a picture. I gathered the eggs that were in the egg box and in one hand she had Rosie and the other the eggs...It was really a sweet moment! They were beyond thrilled when I explained what color eggs the hens laid and they fell in love with my beautiful Benny as well. The chickens were a bit skiddish of new people, but I told then not to worry, they will get used to them and warm up to them soon. They are going to open the coops to the rest of the back yard where we kept our big dogs and they will have free range over all of that area. The chickens and Benny will be very happy at that and I felt at peace in my heart that I had made the right decisions no matter how hard it was and still is. It really is what will be best for them in the long run.

I told them about the plants in the yard and what flowers come back year after year, I showed her a photo of my beautiful wisteria in the front yard and how it blooms the most beautiful blooms in the spring. She was in awe that that the beauty to come in the springtime was in her yard and could not wait to see it bloom in the spring. We told them we were leaving the bird bath and why we decided to do so. We told them about the owls that come in the summer time for water and we wanted to leave it as they come year after year. They were thrilled and eager to see them next summer.

From what they told us, we believe this is their first home and I believe they have made huge sacrifices to be able to purchase it. They are beyond proud and excited and I know in my heart they are going to take care of our home as well as we have. We told them about all the great neighbors and they were glad to hear the neighbors were going to be good ones. They can not wait to start their lives here and it showed in every way.

The little house on Winnie Street, in the eyes of the new owners might as well have been a mansion in the Hollywood hills....because clearly, to them that is exactly what it is. I am so glad I did not listen to any one else and I went with what I knew to be right and that was to make sure when we close the door, this little old house is shining like a new penny for the new family. In case you are wondering if I made it through the meeting without shedding a single tear, I am happy to report I was able to do that, how I don't know, but I did. Now after I shut the front door.....well, that is a different story...but I held it together when I needed to.

There are still a whirl of emotions this morning, and I am sure there will be tears flowing before end of day tomorrow, but I think the meeting was not scheduled for the new home owners, but for me to find peace and comfort leaving a place that is so dear to my heart in the hands of someone else.

You can tell how I talk about our home that I feel it is a special place. Let me tell you how wonderful the feeling is when friends confirm that for you. Thursday evening, after we had moved all day, we got home to find three of my husband's lifelong friends camped out on the front porch. Two of these special friends had lived with my husband back in the bachelor days of their lives. They had come by one last time for one last solute with a beer or two...or three.....ahem. They talked about old times, old friends, and memories and how they had grown up in this little house. What a special gift these three men gave my husband and myself. There truly are no words to describe it. It's in the confirmation that others found the place dear to your heart to be a special place as in their lives too.

Yes, it has been an emotional roller coaster this journey has taken me on. There have been times of second thoughts, dread, and much sadness to leave it all behind. But likewise.....I am finally to the point of excitement in what is to come. Today...we start a new chapter in our lives and one that we are both excited about! I am thankful for the new things that are to come and in the peace in leaving our lifelong home. It all is official today.....we start a new journey and the next chapter in our lives while carrying the cherished memories of the growing years of our life with us.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

In One Day.............

I ask myself, how did we get to this day so quickly? The time went in a blink of an eye and then on the other hand, it took forever it seems as well. We sign the papers tomorrow and the little house on Winnie will belong to a new family. Not only will the little house on Winnie not be ours any more but my beloved Chicken Resort will belong to a new family as well. This is the post I waited to write, as it is the one that is breaking my heart into.

The new owners requested we leave the chicken resort when the presented the contract on our house. With the structure being permanently fixed to the property, we really did not have a choice. The new owners wanted to have chickens of their own and they loved loved loved the chicken coops on our property. Sure..I get that totally...I mean, how could they not love it! It was built with love. So we agreed to leave them and thus the journey of trying to figure out how to actually work it out to move the chickens with us.

Unfortunately, due to the time constraints on closing on these two houses and the lack of time we have to move from our home we are in now, the logistics of being able to have a place for them in the time frame was not going to work. I have a dear friend who agreed to house the chickens for me until I could get a coop built and moved to the property. I say this and know, this has been something I have struggled with for weeks on what was the right thing to do.

So many things came into leading me to the decision I have made in regards to my beloved feathered friends, and that being said, the chickens of my heart will be staying at the Chicken resort. The new home owners were delighted to keep them and be their care givers. I know that no matter how hard this decision is for me to make, it is the right thing to do for them. This is their home, and they will be most happiest here where they know home to be. Chickens are just like me, they don't like change and it stresses them out. Consequently most of them are in molt and they are already stressed out because of that and they have almost stopped laying eggs completely. Uprooting them from the home they know would only compound that stress and I don't want to do that. I am at peace with the decision I have made, but it still has just about broken my heart into pieces.

Oh, how I will miss my Benny boy...he is the one that started it all for me and my love for keeping chickens. Me and that rooster have come a long way together. In falling in love with him, started my journey on keeping chickens and learning how to care for them. He was the first and the most special in my heart. He still does not like to be handled, but he likes to play games with me and tease me with the fact that he just might let me touch him....he likes to inch close to me where he is just stops beyond my fingertips and then when I reach for him, he just moves away. He always makes me smile and he is a sweet boy and I will miss him so much.

Each of the hens are special and unique in their own way as well, one of them, Goldie one of the chicks that hatched last spring just about breaks the door down to get to me when I open the door, she loves me and if I don't pick her up and pay her the attention she thinks she deserves, she pecks me until I do. America and Cinnamon are the other two chicks that hatched in the spring and they love to be held and loved on.

Shirley and Rosie are still skiddish but they have come a long way as well, as they were so wild when I first got them. They are top hens in the whole bunch, and they stay pretty much by Benny's side most of the time.

Penny is most likely the sweetest of them all, she is Nugget's best buddy and she is so sweet and loving. And lastly, Nugget...that little speck of bird is so full of character and personality, she may be the tiniest of them all, but she rules her side of the coop. I will miss Nugget's protest and squawking when she decides she wants to set on eggs and I don't let her. She is the baby and the smallest and she is very special to my heart as well. Each one is unique in their own way, and each one holds a very special place in my heart.

I know Steve is probably right, the chickens love me because to them, I bring the food and they see me and they know food is on the way...but maybe just maybe they love me for who I am just a little. I hope they don't feel abandoned, and hope they will learn to love the new care givers. We will meet the new owners on our last day of our move out and I will have the opportunity to tell them how to care for the chickens and what I did for them. It is my hope that they will open up the back part of the yard and the chickens will have free range of that area and the chicken resort will not be a coop and run any longer but just the coop. They will be happy to have the whole yard to explore in and that large space to free range in. I am sure that is their plan because they were so excited about the chickens in the first place. We could not do that as the area housed our large dogs as well as the coops, so in the long run, I think they will be happier with the new situation and owners. It is so hard when making the right decisions and they are the ones that break your heart.

One thing I do know, I have poured my heart and soul into the love and care for my feathered friends, and if I did not think this was the best thing for them in the long run, I would have never made that decision. Does that mean I have not cried enough tears to fill a swimming pool? No....I have and still am. I don't know how I will make it when I have to say goodbye in a few days, I hope I can keep it together when I explain to the new home owners how I have cared for them and what I think they need to continue doing. These chickens have had the BEST of what I could offer them. I have always put their comfort and needs before any thing else. I expect nothing less for them in the future.....and if I get the vibe that the new owners might not provide that....well, if your in the area, you may see a car driving down the road loaded up with chickens and a rooster and I may change my mind. I don't expect that to happen as the Realtor has assured me they are beyond happy and excited to keep them and have promised they would be well cared for.

In one beloved Chicken resort and my sweet birds will belong to the new owners. The days of coming home and collecting blue, green and tan eggs will be over as well. The days of coming home from a bad day and sitting in the coops and being comforted and soothed by my feathered friends will be no more. In one day it will be officially not mine any more and only a couple of days away from walking away from the lights in my heart. I feel this day, my heart will break into when that time comes. This is by far the hardest part of this journey......and it all takes place in one day.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

In Two Days......

Where one chooses to reside, there is also a community in which you reside in. Living in a community for most of your life holds a certain fondness and attachment that makes it hard to think about relocating and leaving what is dear to you and your life behind. I thought about that this morning as I left for work in the early morning hours.

The community and the places you chose to do business with become more that just a place to stop and spend your money, they become a part of your life and the people who own/work there become a part of you. One of my favorite places on the east side is the little corner donut shop. The sweet little family that owns that shop are precious to me and very special. From a certain fault of my own, being I don't cook breakfast during the week, they know my husband and I very well and in fact, know what we always want before we walk through the door. The little lady that runs the counter several years ago got the idea in her head that I drove a school bus. Now, where she got that I don't really know, but at first, I tried to tell her I did not drive a school bus, but alas, she never really understood that I did not! So for the past several years, when it is time for school to start in the fall, she always wants to talk about the kids and the bus. I learned to just go with it! I drive a school bus, at least in her eyes and if you don't think I won't miss this little shop and the sweet folks that own it, I most certainly will. I have not told them we are moving....I'm not sure I could get the words out to tell them.....I don't like goodbyes.

There are a few other locally owned places I frequent and when you walk through the door, it feels like home. The Barber Shop is another special place to me, as we have spend years and years walking through those doors. The kids got haircuts there, we got haircuts there, Steve still gets haircuts there. The family that owns it is like family to us. The know and have known all our ups and downs through the years and just driving by the shop brings warm memories to mind. This place is so hard to think of leaving behind, I don't really believe we will. I know Steve will still drive up here for haircuts. Some places and people are etched so deeply in your heart, you can't just walk away.

The convenience of where the places we frequent are located, being less than five minutes away is something I will miss as well. Dora, my dachshund is always getting her self into situations where we need a vet...and need one quickly. We have a great vet just a few blocks away, and if I call and need to take one of my dogs in there, they are quick and get them in right away. The vet loves my Sophie...and calls her Sophia....I will miss having that convenience and comfort knowing they are so close when I need them. I love that vet's office and its staff. I could go on and on about the places I will miss here on the East Side of Ft. Worth....there are a lot of those special places on this side of town and the fact that they are so close to where I have lived was always a plus.

Another big part of the community you live in are the friends and special people who live there as well. A very special family member lives five minutes away, one who is always there when you need her or even if you don't. So close she can drop by, or you can drop by there, even if it does not happen a lot, I know that they are so close if we or she needs something. I will miss knowing she is that close to me when we leave. So much so, I have not thought about it for very long, for it weighs heavy on my heart. I have some very dear and cherished friends who have been a huge part of my life. The deep, meaningful friendships with people who have been by your side when you needed them the most. The friend that knows your deepest and darkest secrets and does not judge you for them. They love you any way....I know I will carry the friendships with me, but knowing that I won't be close enough for them to just stop by and visit for a second weighs heavy on my heart. There is just something about a friends stopping by for just a second and then spending a summer evening talking in the front yard for over an hour. Or the friend who will stop by and bring her daughter and granddaughter to "see the chickens" out of the blue....oh, I will miss these times. These are the friends who have shared so much of of my life with, sat at weekend garage sales with, planned events for social and personal reasons with, the ones who have always been at arms length on any given day, the ones who if you are in need of any thing, they will drop what they are doing to help in any way they can. In fact, I have one dear friend, who I was convinced she contacted the church and had the bells tole one last time, just for me....she denies that, but she is that kind of friend who would do a thing like that. I can hardly think about not living among my friends in this community. I know the road to a friends house is never long.....but it is a lot longer than five minutes away.

I'm almost completely packed, we sign the papers and begin a new journey, leaving behind all I have known to be dear to my two days.....

Monday, December 7, 2015

In Three Days........

If you have been following my blog for any length of time, you all know how I have a passion for vintage things. The old functional things in a home always hold a special charm as opposed to new and improved, at least that is the way it is for me. One of the older things in our home that has been a favorite since the day I came to live here was the main bathroom's bathtub. Now I am sure some of you are rolling your eyes, but hold on....hear me out!

We have done several remodels to our home and it is up to date on every thing we have in our home and it is in wonderful shape for the new owners. The one and only thing I NEVER touched was the 1940's cast iron bathtub in the main bath. I love the tiered design on the front of the tub, it has a lot of character when compared to a plain tub you see in most homes today. Below is a picture of a tub that is exactly like the one we have. You can giggle if you want, but I will miss that tub, probably more than I should admit!

The tub itself is over sized by today's size tubs and after Steve and I were first married, it was the perfect size for two....ahem..... was perfect for kids, dogs and blankets and pillows when storms were coming and tornado alarms were going off....My kids spent more times in that tub waiting for storms to pass while holding a little Yorkie than I care to admit. Out of all the places in my home, I knew that that tub would withstand most any thing and my precious kids and animals would be piled in there if I thought a tornado was possible in the area. My poor kids..what a memory!

I'll miss the big ole bubble baths after a hard day or when I needed a little time to myself and relax...oh, yes, I can do all of those things in my new beautiful tub at the new house, but there is something to be said about an old cast iron tub that holds special memories in your heart. I will miss that large tub....and if I was a little honest with myself, if I could take that with me, I certainly would.

Today was a long, tiring day and some sad news left me feeling a little worse for wear, but I came home, filled the tub with bubble bath and hot water and sunk down into the most relaxing reviving hot bath that the old bathtub could give.....and I totally feel better. I have made a plan to do that every night I have left and soak up all that relaxing the ole cast iron tub has to give.

I sure hope the new owners appreciate the value of older things.....but for now, for the next three days...that ole tub is still mine and I intend to enjoy it enough to last a long time!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

In Four Days.......

It is often the little things that seem to have a lasting impression at times. Sunday is today and in the midst of packing, my mind wondered back through the years of the things that made this little house a special home in a special place.

In doing that, I remembered one of the most special things that makes living here so amazing. My thoughts went to the St. Rita Catholic Church and its bell tower. For years, every single Sunday the bells would chime at the start of Sunday mass. It was a constant for so long, you just never assumed you would not hear them.

When my mother in law was in her final days with us, and she was living in Garland, she talked about the bells at St. Rita. She lived next door to us for years and she said she had missed the bells on Sunday mornings after she has moved. I don't know when the church stopped playing the bells every Sunday, but for some reason, they stopped doing that years ago, but still the memory is a good one. When my mother in law came to stay with us in her final days, for some reason the bells that Sunday morning of her last week here with us chimed. We opened the windows of the bedroom and she sat back on the bed and she was so happy to hear them once again.

Now, the bells chime on Christmas and special Sundays. They are a delightful addition to whatever is happening when I hear those bells chime from the bell tower. When you get used to something, you don't realize how special they are until you know you might not hear them again. We are moving to the country from the inner city for peace and quiet, but honestly, on this Sunday, I know I will miss some of the city noise a lot.

In four days....I don't think the bells will chime....but my heart wishes that they would.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

In Five Days...........

Neighbors.....the longtime, lifetime neighbors. The neighbors who know your every habit and routine and you pretty much know theirs. The neighbors who are dubbed "those neighbors" who do things that make you just shake your head. It takes all types to make up a neighborhood, some better than others, some a little more crazy than the next, but all are memorable in one way or the other.

The neighbor across the street who has lived here all her life. Bless her heart, she calls me regularly to just see "what I know" and shares magazines and flowers with me. We share a love for roses and she loves to sit in her chair by the big front window and look at all my beautiful roses, and then question her daughter as why my roses look better than her own. She knows our every move and watches our house when we are gone to work. I will miss that sweet lady most of all.

The neighbor down the street who thinks he has the whole neighborhood buffaloed into believing he is a code blue citizen. Which, by the way he is not..but he tells the story that he is. Truth be told, he is most likely the one who is the most scared of anything and everything. Heck, I protect the street far better than he thinks he can. Truth.

The neighbor down the street who every morning used to pick up my father-in-law's newspaper from the yard and put it on his porch, because it was the right thing to do and she was there any way. The one who we have a connection with all the way back when our kids were in the same class in school.

The fairly new to the street neighbor who we call "the neighbor" who moved in next door and transformed a run down dilapidated house into a really nice home. When he moved in, I was the crazy nosy neighbor that stuck my nose where it did not belong, but we became fast friends. He is the neighbor who purchased Betty, my first hen and brought her home to Benny when he still lived in the field. The neighbor who is sad we are leaving and was worried he had not been a good neighbor and might have been the cause for us to want to move. The neighbor who brings me food from his family functions because he knows I have a love for authentic mexican food. I will miss "the neighbor" an awful lot!

Year after year, you form bonds with the ones who live just on the outside of your day to day life. They are the ones who come out of their respective houses when there is a crisis on the street or someone is in need. They all know what the other is doing and keeps a vigil watch most of the time. I will miss these good neighbors and I hope my impact on their lives has meant as much to them as theirs has to me. Its rather ironic that the ones you take for granted when they pass in and around your daily life become pretty special when you think of not seeing them every day.

In a few short days, the pesky, nosy neighbor who resides in the house in the middle of the street will not reside there any more. The one that watches out the windows to see what is going on or what isn't. The one who will boldly walk into the yard of her neighbors and question a stranger as to why they are there and what they are doing if she does not think they belong there. The one who notices when the little lady across the streets light is not own at dark and can't get her to answer the phone and will call the police to come check on her. The one who boldly puts herself into the lives of her neighbors in one way or another and cheerfully does so. The one who keeps watch on the street will drive away and a new set of neighbors will move into that little house in the middle of the street. They will become the new neighbors to all of my old just five days.
~ my heart is heavy at the very thought.

Friday, December 4, 2015

In Six Days......

I started the day this morning wondering where my heart would land when thinking about this countdown and being day six. I briefly spoke about how sparse the yard was all those years ago and that had me thinking about where it has come and how much I love it. We have spent countless hours in our yard and we have had several vegetable gardens over the years. We enjoyed all that gardening had to offer and we were always happy to share the abundance that came from those small gardens with friends and family.

This year we have seen record rainfall in our area and that has no doubt played a huge part in the fact our grass is thick and lush and beautiful. I don't remember a year that the yard was so thick with grass and thriving. We struggled through droughts in the summer many a year to keep the grass as green as we liked to see it. It has always been a labor of love when it came to working in the yard. 

I guess everyone has something special they love about their outdoor spaces, but for me the special parts of our yard are the trees we have planted. We have a live oak in the back yard that is named "Jeff's tree" because when he was in fifth grade, they principal handed out small sapling trees on earth day. We planted that little tree in a flower pot and it lived for several years in that pot. Finally a few years back, we put it in the ground and "Jeff's tree is a strong beautiful tree that shades the back of the house. I am very sentimental over that tree and it makes my heart sad to know we can't take it with us....I would if I could....We also have a large pine tree that we planted on the side of our house the year my daughter was born. It is easy to remember the age of that tree as it is the age of our daughter....I wish I could take that one too. The third tree is special to my heart as my husband planted it one year for my birthday. It is a Bradford pear and he planted it because he knew I loved how it blossoms in the spring with white flowers and then in the fall, the leaves are alive with wonderful colors at the end of the summer months. It is special too and I am so in hopes the new owners love these as well.

I spent many years planting flowers that would come back year after year, and most all the blooming plants in my yard attract butterflies and birds. Our backyard has always been a haven for birds, squirrels and within the last ten years, we have had the pleasure of providing a safe place for small owls to come and cool off in the hot summer months in our bird baths. I have become rather attached to all of these creatures that visit our backyard and as you can imagine, it is hard to know I am leaving them behind.

We very seldom ever see the little owls once the weather cools off, but once we had a contract on our house I did see one of the little owls, one last time. I had walked out in the back yard one evening and there sat that little owl in the bird bath. I was almost startled because this time of year, we don't see them at all....he just looked at me for a few seconds and then he was gone. In my mind....he was saying goodbye.....yea...makes me tear up just thinking about it!

Yes, lots of memories in that back yard....birthday parties, kids running in and out of the house all summer long with friends, beloved pets buried under the trees on the back fence, summer mornings spent at the clothes line hanging out clothes and sometimes, the best memories are the ones when I just got my hands dirty, creating a space of tranquility and beauty.

The new house has a fairly decent yard, but it has a long way to go before it will remind me of my home back yard. That is the flip side of all these emotions, because the planning and work that will go into the new yard does stir a lot of interest for me. It is something to look forward to in the planning and the work and knowing where the end result will take us next.....but still...the anxiety of walking in my wonderful outdoor space one last time has tears falling like the rain we have seen six days my paradise will belong to someone else.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

In Seven Days.........

Selling a house is hard work.....selling a house when you have never sold one before is even harder. This journey has been one that I could have never believed possible. The ups and downs, the excitement and disappointment has been paramount to any thing I have experienced in my life thus far. I had no idea this journey would take the paths that it did. That being said, we have finally made it to the point we are almost to closing seven days.

I tend to jot my feelings down when my heart is heavy or not settled, and as you can imagine that is what brought me here today. Almost thirty two years ago, I fell in love with a man who owned a rather sparsely decorated bachelor pad on the east side of Ft. Worth. A small two bedroom house, built in the 1940's which had no updates, just the basics. The stand out decor included red carpet, bark-cloth curtains (which were dubs "thanksgiving day" curtains) a set of old salon style swing doors that separated the kitchen from the dining room and yellow Formica counter tops in the kitchen. It had a great size yard, with lots of trees but not much grass and not a flower one. It needed a little help, but once we were married, the little house on the east side of Ft. Worth transformed and grew to accommodate our family. It has always been home, a safe landing place from the world.

I think about the renovations we have done on this house over the years. When I step back and see every thing we have done here, I can't help but see a little bit of ourselves in all the renovations. It has been a evolution over time to get that little house where it is today. I hope the new owners love it as much as I do. It was a process and one that included a lot of love and attention over the years.

I decided to count down the last seven days of this journey, and remind myself of all the things I love the most about the house we are leaving. As I think about the things I will miss the most, it is a reminder of all the things I have loved about our house over the years. Recollections, reminders, memories. Today I am reminded that a house is really just the shelter for a family. The family is the home of that shelter. However, there have been times in my life that this very house was my safe place in the world. In the big scheme of things, and only briefly, the darkest days of my life happened while living here, and this little house on the east side of Fort Worth was my safe haven from the world. When things were hard to handle and deal with, I was always felt safe and secure inside the walls of this house. Even now, when things are so good in this life, it is behind that front door and inside the walls that bring me the most piece and comfort on a day to day basis. This house has been the shelter from all storms life as bestowed upon me. It is the memories that sustain us and we will carry as we leave.

A lady made the statement to me that I have not detached myself from the house and I am still very emotionally attached. No truer words have been spoken. It is so bittersweet to be looking forward to what is to come, but knowing how hard it will be to let all I have loved for so long slip away and ready my heart to grasp the next chapter of our lives.

In seven days....the little house on the east side of Fort Worth won't have my our names on it any more......the shelter that has weathered the storms of life and provided a safe place to land will be that same thing for a new family. I will miss my safe haven from the world, the walls that have held me close and kept me from feeling so lost when things were hard. I will miss all the projects we worked on over the years that make our home a place we enjoyed as our lived happened year after year.

We are almost to the door that will open to the next chapter of our lives, a new chapter and a new home we can put our stamp on. It too will be a safe haven from the world, even if it is hard to imagine how that will be, just yet. I find it difficult to imagine grasping the door handle to the new house when my hand is tightly holding on to the old one still in my heart....thankfully...I still have seven days!

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