Friday, August 26, 2011

Five Minute Friday: Older.........

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka the gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes
And the rule is that whatever you write about in that five minutes is what you posts. No editing your thoughts. Today, her topic choice is "Older....."

Ready. Set. Go......

Funny, or not, how older is the topic today as I spent last evening thinking on this very thing. The past several months, I have decided that I don't like being older or shall we say, the age I am looming to be in the up and coming months. The dread of that number has been lurking in the back of my mind for a while, and it just is not too favorable to me. So I try and not think about it.

As a matter of fact, I was in a conversation with a relative yesterday and she had not remembered that this next birthday of mine was going to be the big 5-0 and she quickly told me I had better get going and enjoy these last seven months of my forties as I would never get them back. Well, just slam the door on my face, I thought. So I spent most of the evening thinking about this milestone that I have spent so much time fretting about. All of a sudden, I felt,  I have gotten not older, but old. After all, I spent most of my young life thinking fifty and over was just what old people were. Now I am that person....and how did that happen? Suddenly, several things began to become clear to me and these are things that I have just not thought about before.

For each and every second I have spent dreading this next birthday, was time wasted on enjoying the moment. Time I can not get back. Time that could have been better spent on happy thoughts and memories. Because honestly, looking back over the last year, there are not too many stand out memories to overshadow all the thoughts of gloom and doom that is sure to be coming. Talk about a wow moment.

I do know, older is harder. My younger days were spent ripping and running at both ends of the clock. Today, I can barely make it through the day and am worn out. Is it really physical or mostly mental? I think with all the dread in my mind....must be a little of both. Older requires more work on our parts. Work that needs to be done to keep in shape, work in choosing the right foods to eat, work in maintaining what we have instead of letting it waste away. Work that I clearly have just simply not done and must start doing if I just would like to maintain at least what I have today. Ideally, I'd much prefer to fall back to the days of ripping and running and never feeling an ache or pain but I know that is just not realistic. Accepting that fact is clearly something different and a motivator to improve for myself.

Older also requires a lot of acceptance of the things we can not change. Again, not easy for me. One of the big things I have trouble with is the fact my eyes are not as they used to be. It is rather a major inconvenience to remember to carry eye glasses every where I go or guess what?? I can not see......see well.  Most times than not, I can not see very well because I fight what is for today. Oh, how I wish when I was younger I had appreciated my good eyesight. I never, ever dreamed there would come a time in my life that I could not see well without glasses. Thus, I fight not wearing them, as I long for when I did not need them. Accepting and embracing this part of being older is not easy for me.

Older has left me longing for things that used to be, and I have completely lost focus on what is. I thought about lost time, time spent worrying over things I can not control. Time spent wishing for things that were, instead of embracing the things that are. Too much time fretting instead of actually living. That is really the only thing I can control. I need to change the way I view rounding that bend in the road that has the big old 5-0 lights flashing in my face. Older does not have to be gloom and doom at a dead end in the road, but instead a growth of opportunity to make the very most of what is left of the journey.

Talk about a swift kick in the backside.....I may have to tell myself that as long as I am seeing the next birthday, I am still here...no matter the number and that is a good thing! Famous words by the way, of my Aunt LaVoice who turned 82 yesterday......she certainly does not spend any time worrying about her age.....she inspires me to get with the program and stop worrying over something I can not change.

Although realistically, I long for our younger days, when I had a body  that had unlimited energy and could keep up with the energizer bunny. True joy comes in realizing the fact that older is not something I can avoid, only embrace and accept. In doing that, I will lose the dread and gloom and focus on the possibilities of lasting memories being made in the journey ahead of me.


I am not going to deny the fact I may wear sunglasses as that big old 5-0 sign comes flashing into view in a few months. I know it is coming and  I have to see it, but maybe I can block out the glare just a little bit!....Stop.

12 comments:

  1. It's funny that your post today is on getting older. I'll be 61 next month. Today our oldest grandson turns 19. Where has the time gone?

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  2. Funny, it wasn't the decades that bothered my mother, 40, 50, 60,.. she was fine with those birthdays. It was the year before, the nines, 39.49,59,...because that meant she was in the last year of that decade. For some reason, age has never been important to me. Maybe because it was a number and I'm NOT good at numbers. Of course, I know I'm getting older, mostly because my body doesn't cooperate with my 'young' mind. Where did that agile, full of energy body go anyway? Loved your post. Thanks for sharing. ~Nita

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  3. I like how you said older requires acceptance of things we cannot change! Very profound.

    Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations
    http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com

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  4. I shamefully did not want to click on this post because I have been so sad over my age. You spoke to my heart. I too have wasted so much time being depressed and living in a dark hole, that I have missed the living part. Age should not do that to us, we do that to ourselves.

    I am going to do something about it and start living again. You always touch me in some way with what you have to say. I love stopping by here.

    Now, lets get with it!!!

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  5. Your post is coming at a good time. Can I take my 5 minutes here? =)

    I am dealing with being angry over a procedure that comes with turning 50 (which happened for me last December). I am fighting tooth and nail to avoid having the starts with "C" and ends with "oscopy" done. My hubby, who is johnny-on-the-spot when it comes to doctor visits and check ups, scheduled his yesterday. I was HOPPING mad. Slamming doors mad. Yes, stomping around the house and yelling mad. F.U.R.I.O.U.S...Why? Because I am scared. I promised my nurse friend, who is going to come with me and hold my hand the entire time, I would schedule it today....I haven't yet...I just cry...

    Sorry for being a "Debbie Downer" on your lovely blog....

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  6. love that about not dreading the future but living in the moment. Also how come you didn't slap your friend in the face with that "7 months left " comment. RUDE. at least splash your lemonade in her face and say "I've always wanted to throw a drink at someone before I turned 50- thanks for making that happen for me!" lol. just kidding. but seriously.

    great blog.

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  7. I got the '50' t-shirt almost 2 years ago. It just got me to thinking about all the stuff I want to do this next half of my life, and I've started working towards those things. I want to have a vacation home. I want to open up a shop or have a booth at an Antique Mall (still checking on the details of that). To write a blog and have friends from all over the world (working on that).

    Thing is people have gone ahead of me and blazed these trails and I see it's possible and I want to not be afraid and to try new things. Suzanne, I was at Juli's bridal shower and since then you have been part of my inspiration 'team.' I guessed you were younger than me but that didn't make me say "I'm too old to try this." I figure I'm here until God says otherwise, I want to do as much as I can with this life I've been given. cJoy

    P.S. Heads up to AMY and the 'c' that she needs to have done, not as bad as it sounds - I didn't care for the 'fasting' part but they knocked me out and that was some great sleep. Relax. Scare them - ask for 8 x 10 glossies/pic.

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  8. What a fun meme...I've not heard of it before. Maybe I can join NEXT Friday.

    I reached OLD about 3 years ago, when I turned 70. I always thought someone seventy years old was SOOOOO OLD. Well, here I'm about to be 74 in December...my gosh o'mighty...where did those yrs go??? When, I,too, had a body that could stay working all day long...*sigh

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  9. Well, I hit the big 6-0 this month and have spent a good deal of time feeling sorry for myself. I realized, though, that allowing myself to do that was ridiculous and a colossal waste of time! So...while it's difficult, I'm really trying to block that out and just live my life! Don't waste your 5's on regrets, etc. Your 6's will come soon enough!! Take care...

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  10. Well, I've already hit the big 50 a few years ago. We just need to keep on trucking and enjoy each day. We can't go back so we just keep going forward.

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  11. I've hit my milestone and as long as I feel good, I'm not going to complain. I don't run around the way I used to and my back problems have become worse, but I'm happy I made it this far!!

    XO,
    Jane

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  12. Question for you. Other than the year you turned 18 (that was the legal age when we were that young) have you ever felt different after a birthday? I always feel the same way the day after that I felt on the day before. No reason to think it will be any different next Feb when I pass that milestone. I always think it should make me feel different, but it doesn't really. It's only when you compare 49's pains to 21's eagerness that you feel the time has passed. Celebrate who you were then. Celebrate who you are now. And, would you really go back and do it again??? Lane

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Sometimes someone says something really small, and it's like it fits into this empty space in your heart!

Thank you for stopping by and leaving your thoughts here, they really mean a lot to me!

Suzanne

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