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Some people are just born leaders. It is in their genes, their makeup, their personality. These types of people seem to be one step ahead of the game all the time and never look over their shoulders for approval by anyone. I wish I could say I fall into that category, but I indeed do not. Frankly, I don't seem to ever remember a time that I might have even tried to take on that role for myself.
I remember as a kid in grade school, I always copied what my good friends did, wore and liked. Made no difference whether I really liked it or not, if they did it, I wanted to too. I can remember one friend in particular, she had a lavender room with a canopy bed and Holly Hobbies decoupaged onto little plaques in her room. I wanted the same thing. Did I like Lavender? No, I can guarantee you I did not. And was I a fan of Holly Hobby? Absolutely not. But for some reason, I wanted to be just like her, have the same things even if I would have never picked them for myself. I sometimes wonder if it was the well put together room, where everything matched that I was drawn too, not the actual decor. Even as a kid, I guess my taste has always been eclectic, whether by choice or the fact that it was just the way it was.
Middle school years were no different. And I am guessing out of all my school years, those were the hardest. The hardest to fit in and be like everyone else. Fashions were such that it was a constant argument with my mom over what I was and was not going to wear. I remember when hiphuggers and bell bottoms made by Red Snap were all the rage. They sold them at Army Navy stores and Mitchell's and Meyers department stores in our town. I never had a pair.....Oh, I did have a pair of hiphuggers, but my grandma bought them for me one summer when I broke my leg and stayed at her house, but they were not Red Snaps. However, I wore those darn pants a solid week and don't think I ever washed them during that time. But I am sure, I never was allowed to wear them to school. If I remember correctly, my mom used to tell me I did not have to be like everyone else, I could start a new fad.....little did she know, I just did not have it in me!
High School, was much the same.....never the leader. My best friends always were the ones who I modeled myself after. Whether it was from fashion, hair styles, or beauty products to use, or entertainment, I always followed their lead. I never branched out on my own. I never even considered to take the lead. I was content to follow behind their ideas. I think now it was a lack of courage on my part. Afraid of not fitting in, or afraid of making a fool out of myself. Either one at that age would have been disastrous.
Funny, I have not thought about that much until today when I hung up the phone from talking to my dear friend from high school. Lots of memories came flooding back along with thoughts of how very much things are still the same after all of this time. No matter if such things are directly or indirectly related....I still seem to be the one who lacks courage to take the bull by the horns and do something first. I wonder if that is why I have considered myself lacking in fashion and style during my adult life, as these said friends were not in my life for me to model myself after?? Interesting....when I stop and think about it!
This season in our lives are much the same for my friend and myself. We suffer from the same type of health issues. The only difference is, she is proactive with hers, and well, I struggle with mine and do nothing. Lack of courage is a sad thing.
Tuesday morning, my friend is scheduled for surgery and that surgery will enhance the quality of life greatly for my sweet friend. Please keep her in your thought and prayers this morning as she marches into that operating room looking at better days to come and not looking back. What an admirable trait she has, still a leader after all these years. And then here I sit, waiting to survey the fallout to see if the fields are safe to travel down the same road for myself.
When I hung up the phone today, that is what echoed in my mind...."after all these years, I still don't have it in me to lead the way"... but.....I told myself...."maybe not, but I am the best darn follower you will ever see!"
Thanks for joining me for this Take Me Back Tuesday, and I'm wishing my sweet friend to have a speedy recover in the weeks to come! I may not be on the cutting edge of starting a new trend, or even doing the simplest things as schedule a needed surgery first.....but I wait patiently really well and hold hands even better! And if I think about it, I have had this same personality trait that surfaced and stayed with me, way back when......
