Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka the gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.
Only five minutes.
And the rule is that whatever you write about in that five minutes is what you posts. No editing your thoughts. Today, her topic choice is "when I look in the mirror, I see."
So I'm going to set my phone timer, I have just about 5 minutes this morning and write. No changing my thoughts, no editing.
five, four, three, two, one....go.
When I look in the mirror this morning, I see someone who I barely recognize.
Along with signs of aging, gray hair, and stress lines across my face, I hardly recognize the person behind all of the unpleasantness that have become front and center for the world to see. I wonder if I am the only person who often times wonders what has happened to "me".
I am not a vain person by nature. I was no beauty queen in my younger days who suddenly woke up one morning wondering where all the beauty has gone.
If fact, it really is not about beauty at all. I wonder mostly about where is the person who has so many dreams to achieve and front and center had the energy and desire to look for ways to achieve them. I see staring back at me a person who is at a pivotal moment in life. I see someone who needs to define who they are and who they were supposed to be. I see someone who needs to change lots of things in their life. But at the same time, I see someone who feels that in doing so, knows it will take a lot of courage because the support to make the change might not be there.
Someone told me once, back in my youth that a person wears their heart in their eyes. You can tell by the sparkle in their eyes, what a shiny happy heart they have, because it shows on their face. I feel sad I don't see that sparkle in my muddy brown eyes this morning. Not only do I not see it, I don't feel it as well. Life is too short to see through muddy eyes. The rain may need to come to clear the view and let the sun shine again in my heart.
I want to not only see in that mirror, the person I know I am. But I also want to feel the person I used to be back inside. Life is a journey, and getting off track does not lead to the best of things along the way. I see someone who does not know the answers, but is seeking them. I want to be happy at what I see....wrinkles, lines, gray hairs and all....but mostly a peaceful, happy heart and life.......
........it is tough to hit publish on this one....but here goes......
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