Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Take Me Back Tuesday: Behaving Badly Confession

It is no secret if you read my blog on a regular basis that I have for many years had a love for being thrifty and thrifty shopping. Now, along with that wonderful hobby of mine, many a story often follows from the outings.

It is a running joke between my husband and my son that he fully expects to get a call one day that I have had a free ride to the local jail due to inappropriate behavior on my part in the stores. My behavior at times may very well have been inappropriate but in my honest opinion....it was warranted.

NOTE: You may not want to read any further if you are afraid of being crushed at the fact that I am not always as sweet as I seem.... ahem.....I am going to show you my not so nice at times side today, but if you have the faith to check back tomorrow, you will see there was a reason for the confession of bad behavior today.

Without fail on several occasions, there seems to always be someone who follows me in these thrift stores as I shop and just seems to wait for me to put whatever treasure I have in my buggy back on the shelf. Always. Once, I had a milk glass punch bowl and cups in my buggy and for the longest time, I did not notice a lady who stalked me throughout the whole store. Finally, she asked me if I was going to purchase the set or what??? I looked at her and said yes I was and asked her what exactly she meant by the or what??? She informed me I had wasted a good part of the last hour of her time because she was waiting in the store for me to put the punch bowl set back on the shelf because she wanted it. Seriously, the "or what" made me so mad that day....I was at fault for taking up her time....this has happened so many times, that I really did not let this work me up too much that day...but there have been many times before.....

Once about 6 years ago, I was at half price day at Goodwill....and I was going through the racks of t-shirts to find some I could sell on ebay, which at that time was a pretty profitable business for me. I had a buggy full of stuff this one day, and the store was packed. I kid you not, there was a lady behind me and every time I put a shirt in my buggy and turned back to the rack, she took the shirts out of my buggy and put them in hers. When I caught her, I called her out on it rather quickly....and proceeded to take my shirts out of her buggy.... which you can imagine caused a small ruckus. About the time this was going on, one of the managers came rushing towards us like the store was on fire. He started waving his hands in the air saying, "Ladies...please..Ladies...there are plenty of things here for everyone...please....please....." I guess the poor guy thought there was going to be a knock down drag out right there on the store floor over some used t-shirts and he was a nervous wreck....that only fueled my anger that we had upset him....no that the lady who upset me, upset him....get the picture???? The sad thing was, I did not know her story, maybe she needed the clothes, maybe she just liked what I chose, maybe I should not have been so upset with her. But upset I was.......the nerve of that lady was all I could say to myself.

I could tell you stories all day that are very similar to these. It happens all the time, someone will grab what ever I have in my buggy and question me about it or just seem to almost want to take it from me right then and there. I know that should not upset me, but I don't really like it when this happens and it is all the time. Maybe if this happened only once in a while I would not get my hackles up so, but like I said, it is more that just once in a while that this occurs.

I like to shop in peace, I like the thrill of the find and I like it uninterrupted. Likewise, I have always given other shoppers the same respect. I have lots of times walked into a store and knew right away I was just a few minutes too late....someone had some really grand treasures already in their buggy and I missed out. My heart would sink a little for the fact I missed a great item, but that was it. Likewise, I would never think to ask them if they were going to put them back on the shelf because quiet frankly, my thinking is they would have never picked them up in the first place if they did not want them. So, I just forget it and go on. I don't stalk. I don't stare. I don't try to take what is in their buggy. I am not saying that I might consider doing any of these things, but I know how that type of thing drives me crazy so out of respect for fellow shoppers, I do not do it.

These are a couple of extreme happenings in a long line of crazy occurrences though out the years. On a lighter note, there have been some very wonderful conversations started up over an item at a thrift store or Goodwill with someone who just wants to talk, not take. Those conversations are usually very informative on an item, or a conversation will often be about a memory of something similar that was special. And although conversations like these have always been enjoyed, I can sadly admit today, before my friends here on my blog,  I have never once even considered giving up what was in my buggy. Not once. Shameful, I know.

This Take Me Back Tuesday, is really a two part post. The follow up will be up tomorrow. I am sure you are wondering why I would share this not so nice side of myself today. Actually, I am thinking it not a good idea to hit publish after all. I mean, it is crazy to tell your friends you have been so selfish at times that it caused a scene in a store that upset the workers. That when you had every opportunity to do a random act of kindness, you chose not to do it. That deep down you have felt guilty over your actions but push that guilt aside. I have been all of these things and more. It took a single moment in time this last week to bring all of the nasty attitudes to the surface once again and the lesson was so simple, it was shameful. And in case you are wondering, it did not involve that phone call to my husband.

Yes, I really enjoy my treasure hunting....but at the same time, I know I would have enjoyed offering a random act of kindness to many of these individuals who only saw my not so nice side. Shameful. Next...you will see just how shameful it has been compared to a random act of kindness from a stranger with a much kinder heart than mine......I hope you come back for the rest of the story. If you followed this to the end, well, thank you for stopping by for this Take Me Back Tuesday. You may have noticed that there are no pictures, because frankly, I could not even think of any to go with this post......and that is a first for me.


23 comments:

  1. Suzanne I still think you are a very nice person. I take my thrifting very seriously and work hard at it. I have casually watched (not stalked) someone with something I thought I might like but after a minutes I let it go....I might check back just to make sure they didn't put it back but NEVER have I stolen from someone's cart. I just wouldn't and I wouldn't like it if someone did that to me. So I am with you all the way on this. I don't think I'm being selfish but maybe I am. I'm waiting for the rest of your story.

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  2. Suxanne....Your story was wonderful...very touching...I could NOT stop reading. My heart goes out to you...it is the old story of “when bad things happen to good people”. I would get mad too, and yes, I would, would finally have reached my breaking point. It happened to me in an old Best store in Roanoke, VA, before they went out of business. I am always the polite, silent, but seething inside one when people treat me wrongly, but I can blow. When I do, I think I lose all conscousness of my behavior. It happens only seldom, but afterwards I am upset with myself. Then hours later, I realize if the situation presented itself again I would probably do the very same thing. A sweet person is aways a sweet person so DO NOT FRET! We all love you.

    Hugs,
    Genie

    buttonsforbaga.blogspot.com

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  3. I cannot believe the nerve of some people to actually take things out of your cart! You would have every right to get angry in a situation like that. I enjoyed reading your post and I'll be back for part 2.
    Jane

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  4. I see nothing wrong with your reaction. To be "thrift stalked" and then blamed for wasting the stalkers time --- well that's just too much for me too! I would have a hard time being polite!

    If I'm reaching out my hand to nab a prize and someone else beats me to it, I will sometimes say, "If you decide not to buy that, I'd love to have it myself!" and I smile. And I've been rewarded a couple of times for my tact and patience. I would never stalk someone (although I may cry in the corner!)

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  5. Wow! I can't believe you've had such crazy experiences. Whatever happened to basic manners? Like you, when I shop I mind my own business and pay no attention to what anyone else might have in their cart. Because it's THEIR cart.

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  6. I can only imagine what I might have said or done in those situations. You certainly have my curiosity up. I can't wait to read your post tomorrow.

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  7. Because I am the "Thrift Store Queen" (according family & friends:) I can totally relate to your story & LOVED it. There is a GW outlet near here. Everything is 30 cents. But you have to dig, & as they bring new things out, you have to wait until it is all in place. Well, we stand there & look.. BUT DO NOT TOUCH, until they are ready. There was a great watering can right on top, my DIL had here eyes on it & as soon as she could, she grabbed it, but a "lady" grabbed it also, right from her hands & she would not let go... my DIL being the nice person she is, gave in & let her have it.
    We laugh & talk about it all the time... she says, "I still can't believe that lady took it from me" & I say, "You have got to be gracious but TOUGH" when Goodwilling" : )
    Can't wait to hear the rest of your story : )

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  8. Sorry, I missed the part where you had behaved "shamefully". Bargain hunting is, exactly as described, a hunt. And, I remember enough about hunting to know it's all about being in the right place at the right time. I do confess that if I found an anonymous hand in my buggy, they would risk drawing back a nub. Don't feel guilty. Lane

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  9. Suzanne, I don't think you were being selfish; the persons in question were just rude. In both of the cases you mention, most sane people would be taken aback by their behavior, and react accordingly. All you did was stick up for yourself. It's not like you took them down and pounded their faces into the concrete. ;-)

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  10. This should let you know you are going to these places much too often. Now people are watching for you, ready for an attack. They have found out how to get your reaction as they realize you know how to pick the best stuff. I am almost afraid to hear the rest of this tale.

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  11. LOL

    Perhaps you should advertise your services as a professional shopper! Obviously, you have very good taste.

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  12. I understand where you're coming from, Suzanne, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. It has made you more aware and sensitive, so that's a good thing. Here's my confession: I said a really dumb thing to a fellow shopper at a flea market not too long ago and I can't even believe it. It was like my brain was nowhere to be found before my mouth popped out with, "I wanted those." Three bowls, of all stupid things, that I had looked at, thought about, but set down while I picked up something else to look at. Even my husband glanced at me sideways like, "I can't believe you just said that." The other shopper (after looking at me like I had grown a third eye) had pity on me and handed me two of the three bowls--and I accepted them. Oy, I felt horrible about it, but the train had already left the station, you know? After that, I vowed to do a few favors to other thrifters down the line. I don't need that kind of karma.

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  13. Darling one, it is a violation of your space to take something out of your buggy. There is not one thing wrong with you lovey. This is one of many examples of the dreadful increase in lack of civility that is rampant now. The fact that it upsets you means you know what good manners are. Sometimes we run out of cheeks to turn. olive♥

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  14. Suzanne, I don't think you should feel bad about being annoyed over this. I can't even believe someone would do the things you describe, as it's never happened to me and that is just rude of them. I don't think being a good person means that you let others walk on you. If I caught someone taking something out of my basket, I might even slap their hand. LOL You shouldn't feel bad at all about sticking up for yourself.

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  15. Taking something from someone's cart is just wrong. Would she take a roast from you at the grocery because it looked leaner? And I think I would have just cracked up really loud at that woman statement about wasting her time. How ludicrous.
    I'll be reading tomorrow.

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  16. What a brave soul and what a great story. I shop at Goodwill all the time and one day I found just what I wanted in a small table with wheels. I was looking at it and there were several things on top of it. Man some woman can running "Those are mine." Well, how was I to know, they were not in a buggy, just sitting on the floor. Needless to say I didn't get that table and haven't found one yet. I think you are a nice person anyway.
    QMM

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  17. You weren't behaving badly, just reacting to bad behavior! What horrible, rude people you've encountered. I've been stalked through the thrift on more than one occasion, but no one has actually grabbed my stuff. I think you showed more restraint than I would have under the circumstances

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  18. You poor dear. So far no one has wanted what I picked up. I guess I have bad taste. I don't think there's a thing wrong with reminding people that they can't push others around. Maybe others have let them get away with it for too long. You go girl!

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  19. You sound like a nice person. Forgive, and forget. Life is just to short to fret.

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  20. It's amazing how rude some people are....don't beat yourself up....you did nothing wrong.... :) Come say hi!!

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  21. This is really funny to me, because as many times as I have been to thrift stores, I've never had that happen. Of course maybe my choices are not as good as yours, but it does seem terribly rude for someone to follow you around waiting for you to put something back. I have walked into a store and have seen some real beauties in someone elses cart, but like you, I figure I was just a little too late ;-)

    Jocelyn
    http://justalittlesouthernhospitality.blogspot.com/

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  22. I am just astonished. I have never had anything even remotely close to that happen to me. Of course I probably buy things no one else would even consider. I am just floored. I never knew (from reading all the comments) that 'thrifting' was so competitive. It makes me visualize a fight breaking out at a garage sale over what someone else considers 'junk'. Would make a great comedy skit.

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  23. Suzanne, I do not think it is at all selfish to want to buy what you have picked out and put into your buggy! You obviously have great taste, so everyone just thinks if you're buying it, they should have bought it! As far as someone removing things from your buggy - well, there aren't even words for such a blatant act! And there is certainly nothing wrong with you taking them back! laurie

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Sometimes someone says something really small, and it's like it fits into this empty space in your heart!

Thank you for stopping by and leaving your thoughts here, they really mean a lot to me!

Suzanne

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