Who ever thought for one minute that marriage is easy should really stop and think again. Marriage is tough and rough. If you are one of the young ones who still believe that to not be so, well hang on to the seat of your pants because I speak the truth....you will see what I mean if you stick with it.
Being married a quarter of a century {today} and still have your heart skip a small beat when your spouse walks in the door is really a good thing. That is reason enough to keep him around I'd say. Whatever he's done - like throwing his clothes on the floor instead of the place where the dirty laundry is kept, or making me repeat something for the third and forth time because he really was not listening to the answer in the first place is really less important when your heart skips that small beat.
Funny, no one tells you when you first get married that all the glory for the most parts fade.....when you go from "I can't wait until I get him alone tonight" to if he snores one more time or farts in his sleep, I am going to stuff a pillow down his throat. Or the fact that once you have children, by the time the end of the day gets here, yes, your heart may still skip a beat, but it also skips a beat at thinking of getting in that bed and ONLY sleeping because you are too tired to do anything else.
Being married is really about the business of living together and making it work. There is nothing romantic about dirty, smelly socks that need to be loaded in the washer, or taxes, credit card bills or mortgages to be paid. These are the things that over time can file away all the love you once felt if you let it, but it also becomes the necessary glue to keep things hanging in balance, believe that or not.
If someone was to ask what the secret to being married 25 years I'd really not know a firm answer for them. I'd most likely say respect, hard work, a lot of compromise and negotiation. Throw in a few shared dreams, love and compassion, a little stubbornness and love on all measures mixed with a little laughter would be a good start. Laughter is good for the soul. Laugh together, laugh when you want to cry, laugh at each other (respectfully) and most important, laugh at yourself. It is hard for your heart to break when you are laughing.
At first, you may believe that love has the power to change a person, make them more of your ideal, more sensitive, more compatible, more to your liking. Love can do a lot of things even change some things, but not the important things. Not the staying things when times get tough, it takes so much more. Marriage is far more work than they ever tell you. Or, if they do tell you, I bet we just did not choose to listen. But always, for me...the work is so worth it.
Last week, we watched a "fairytale" begin, and like those two newlyweds, I was star stuck too. I never wondered for a minute about what struggles were to come. You are never guaranteed long and healthy lives, luckily we have been pretty lucky in that department. You don't think about the hard times when things don't go the way you plan. You don't think about the not so romantic times. You don't think about the dirty clothes or the day after day grind that leaves you tired, worn out and just struggling to make it.
And in saying that, I am sure
he did not ever think I'd be nothing more than the hot sexy young thing he married so long ago. So full of energy then, I never really got tired. I am sure some days he wakes up and honestly thinks, "
what in the world happened?" Well....marriage happened, a life together full of joys, heartaches and struggles happened and guess what, we are still together. Remember my big plans to get back into that wedding dress, well, you can just imagine, it did not happen. I have accepted that, not easy to do, but I did. Sometimes, you have to learn to let things go, not worry anymore about how you wanted things to turn out....that dress was one of them. Same thing in life....let go of the junk and hang on to what is important. We still put one foot in front of the other each day and
my heart still skips that beat when he walks in the door.
It is not easy, and it has not been easy. Nothing worth it is ever easy. So this morning, no bands played, no party streamers were thrown, no big celebrations were planned, it was just him and me doing what we do every day.....he may remember, he may not.....
but he better!
Unopened for 25 years. Married at The Little Wedding Chapel of The West, Las Vegas, Nevada.
This one is a big one for me for more reasons than one. It symbolizes the staying kind of love we have, the forgiving kind of love we have, the kind of love you don't have to worry about walking out the door. Even if there is no party, or big event to mark this occasion there is cause to celebrate this milestone.
Twenty five years of a scarred and marred heart that has been kissed and bandaged up time and time again by one special person certainly is cause to stop and be thankful. Thankful, that luck was on our side long ago and we were able to find the one person who'd be all we needed them to be, the one person who is the best friend above all others.
So after 25 years do I think it was easy? Goodness no. But the good does out weigh the bad. We have each other and know what ever comes our way, we will see it through. We have seen our dreams become reality one by one, and we have more to look forward to coming true with a little bit of work. But is certainly makes things a little easier when your heart still skips a beat after 25 years when you see the love of your life walk in the front door.
Happy 25th Anniversary to my husband, I love you with all that I am and .....I demand we make it to
50 and that
is not up for negotiation.
Real Life...Real Love......for 25 years!
I just added the link for Vintage Thingie Thursday...no time this week for a new post. My vintage thingie is the unopened bottle of champagne from when we got married! Have a great week!
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