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Let me give you an example. Recently, I met a friend for lunch....same said friend whom I grew up with years ago and was recently reacquainted with. I stood in my closet and all that faced me was t-shirts, sweatshirts, jeans, and tennis shoes. Well, there were a few other things in that closet, but nothing I intended to wear. Not exactly the look I was going for. So I did what most of us would do, headed to the mall. Pure torture! I tell you sometimes, I feel like a candidate for the TV show, What Not To Wear. There are too many choices, and I seem to always pick the wrong things, I pick the comfy clothes over the stylish trends.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I always start out with great visions of picking out the perfect outfit, something exciting, something sophisticated, something super chic...but somehow, the clothes I chose just fall short...in my opinion.
This is the very shirt I purchased. And looking at this model, it looks pretty good on her, maybe if you look closely, a little sophisticated, or at the very least, a little chic, no? If you don't agree, maybe that is my problem all together.....I don't have a clue! Of course, I paired the shirt with dark gray jeans, a black cami and tennis shoes. Sorry, I know what your thinking, but they were nice tennis shoes, and, they are comfortable. just sayin'. But I am here to tell you, I looked nothing like this model. But I can say this, I was comfortable......sorta.
Now, my friend showed up for our lunch date looking like a model from Vogue. A black shirt, not this one, but a really cute black shirt, jeans, not high waist-ed jeans like these, but cute dark jeans, wonderful accessories, cute sandals....pure sophistication. (picture is just an idea of the difference in our choices) She really was better put together than this model here, she looked fantastic. We are the same age, well.....I am a month older, but why did I feel like someone's granny, which I'm not, but wished I was....and why was it my sweet friend, looked like she stepped out of a fashion magazine? And why am I willing to bet, she had no stress whatsoever on what she was going to wear.... unlike me.Does this happen to you guys, or is it just me. I think I have just gotten used to dressing down all the time. I work in an environment that does not warrant nice clothes, so I only have a few things I consider dressy, and that leaves hardly any room for in between stuff. If I made better choices to begin with, maybe I'd not have a closet full and overflowing with clothes I feel just don't quiet reach the mark. I have a feeling this shirt will fall into the same pile of never to be worn again clothes....after all, it made me feel like a granny for goodness sake! That's right....blame it on the shirt...easy way out!
And to be honest with you, if I could be on this show and it not be televised for all the world to see my lack of style, I'd fill out the application today...I wonder sometimes what Stacy and Clinton would say if they followed me around with a hidden camera for two weeks....I shudder at the thought.Anyone else ever feel this way?.......... Hello? ...............Anyone there?..........I don't want to be a granny lady......well, I do want to be a granny.....but I want to look like a young granny, not an old one.....Style....it is all about the style......or lack of...I think.
LOL.are we fashion twins......you just made my post......i could actually cut and paste it in my blog....thank u
ReplyDeleteOh Suzanne, I know exactly how you feel. I like comfort, and being out of the workforce for quite a while, lets just say if I could stay in my robe all day I would, lol. we live where the temp is pretty mild all year (well hotter than you know what in the summer) so I wear capris a lot. ELASTIC waist capris. My crocs. and a shirt, usually with 3/4 length sleeves because I have fat arms. there is not much I can do to dress up or down besides putting on nice makeup and jewelry. Its tough. I have never been much of a dress up girl..now hubs and I went to the movies about a month ago..i put on my nice jeans, a shirt and my crocs...I cleaned the crocs..
ReplyDeleteSo no, you are not alone, and I like the shirt you got..where did you get that??? Just my style!
Barb
Suzanne you have just described me!! I think I have some thing cute and a little stylish and I get it on and well, its not all that shall we say. I need someone to dress me, but then I do like the comfort...what's a granny to do?
ReplyDeleteThis is me...only on a grander scale. If they followed me around for two weeks, they'd give up, knowing there was no help. You are such an INSPIRATION, I would never have the courage to say what I feel. Hats off to you!! You sure make me feel like it is ok to feel things and know I'm not the only one who feels like that...thank you.
ReplyDeleteI want Stacy and Clinton too! I am sure they could teach me how to look better than I seem to muster up. And DFW is filled with women that are so good at looking good, that it just highlights how not good I look. Sigh... Where is that perfect outfit?
ReplyDeleteOMG! You have written a post for me, as well! Living in Florida, & working in a casual environment...dressing up is capris or jeans with no paint stains, my "good" crocs, & a tee or sweat shirt. I went shopping last week, looking for a navy jacket to wear over a sleeveless dress...apparently they no longer exist. Went to GW & found a never worn w/tags intact, $65 jacket for $6. Next morning, realized I had no panty hose, so was @ CVS at 6am to buy those. I am hopeless when it comes to dressing myself. Thanks for the smile. *elaine*
ReplyDeleteJoin the club! I feel I look ridiculous on the fashionable colours/cuts/prints, so I wear my greys and olive greens and browns all year round. Blouses are uncomfortable, skirts show my legs so grey or brown jeans are the obvious choice. What's wrong with us?
ReplyDeleteWe all need their help! Comfort is so much easier! Get over it and fill an application already! It will do you a lot of good.:)
ReplyDeleteoh wow, you read my mind and apparently those of others. It's frustrating, years of being a stay at home mom allowed me to get lazy about my appearance and now comfort is way too important. I think back to the days when women really had to dress up for everything and I shudder. I too would love Stacey and Clinton to make me over but not on national television. ugh. I just need to get out of this fashion rut. Kudos for expressing my sentiments better than I could have. I am feeling a smidget motivated to dress up, I'll go sit down and unbutton my jeans until the motivation passes :)
ReplyDelete-brightest blessings-
Karina
Heehee-comfort IS a style in my book!
ReplyDeleteI love Stacy and Clinton, and would love to be on the show-but they would probably never get me in heels-and not even a skirt if it doesn't go past the knee-sorry-gotta be comfy :)
Have a great weekend!
I think you can be comfortable and still stylish. I think most of the time, I do Ok, but I could probably do better. I have friends who nail it everytime without effort.
ReplyDeleteSome people can wear a potato sack and still look rockin' however I am not in that fortunate class. Some people make expensive clothes look dreadful. If I have to see one more muffin top or butt crack I'm gonna scream. Thats not style.
I think style is more about knowing what looks good on you and feeling comfortable with what you're wearing.
However, I am someone's granny which is an awesome excuse if I ever want to look like a dag.
Suzanne, you have really struck a chord here!
ReplyDeleteI can't find things in stores that look good on me anymore. Being tallish and long limbed doesn't help, and being 54 tops it off!
I too work in an environment where I have to do things that require wearing jeans at times. Can't wear skirts on a ladder, seriously. And I can't even buy jeans off the rack (they are short rised for me equals Wedgie!) But I need to get some attractive not-work clothes.
Its hard to know what to wear anymore. I know for me at least part of it is answering the question of how do I want to look now that I'm a "certain age".
Kathy
My house was built in 1913. Houses did not have big closets back in 1913. I have two small closets in my bedroom. Even though they are tiny, they are stuffed with clothing. Do I wear much of it? No, I don't. Why? Because I have become lazy. I reach for what is easy, and yes, what is comfortable. I need to pull my fashion sense together and fix myself up once and a while!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Susan and Bentley
xxoo
I struggle terribly myself. I wear dress slacks and nice shirts to work but sometimes when I want to dress down for casual going out, I struggle to find something I like. Well I like a lot of things but can't fit into them. And since surgery I feel even worse about my body. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteSeems many here love comfort over style - I'm like that too, and always have been. I feel like a fish out of water when I go shop for something trendy for a special occasion. Generally I take hubby along - he has great taste and can pick out super color combinations that do NOT make skin crawl - there's always jokes about how men dress, but he is a snappy dresser, with no help from me!
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you....maybe I'm even leading the frumpy, dress-down race a little....I HATE TO SHOP! Because of this, my friends accuse me of buying my clothes at only places that have grocery carts because I can do the one-stop shop thing....AND they laugh because if my shirt isn't a white tee (with jeans), then I'm dressed up....so sad!
ReplyDeleteWell sweetie you at least wear jeans. This 4'10 chubby granny x 13 is not that stylish. Working at losing weight then will go find a pair of jeans. until then sweats for me.
ReplyDeleteI've learned a lot watching Stacy and Clinton! I've been working for the past year on improving my wardrobe. Like you, I've mostly dressed for comfort over the years, but as I've increased in size, comfort looks frumpier than it used to look.
ReplyDeleteNow, when I shop, I don't buy anything that doesn't make me feel good about myself. Seriously. Comfortable isn't enough. You can be comfortable and look great, no matter your size. Don't settle. A flattering t shirt is just as comfortable as a frumpy one.
There is a What Not to Wear book written by the two British ladies on the original BBC WNTW. Look for it at the library. It is simple, with a do and don't photo spread for each point they make. It's a great starting place.
I wish I could go shopping with you, Suzanne. I think it is easier with an honest friend to help scour the racks of clothing for those things that will fit and flatter. I would have told you not to buy that shirt for a lunch date.
Oh. my. god. Constantly. Plus with my dieting Ive not bought new clothes so everything that I have which isn't much is either big or old. and there isnt that much of it...
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, I dont look like a bag lady but Im just the other side of fashionable. At best I can see it - on the other side of the street
Tracy
Oh I complete relate. When I got retired it took me about a year to actual figure out that I wasn't going to work anymore. I got rid all the polyester, all the panyhose, all the heels, and even those uncomfortable bras. I wear jeans and t-shirts and I don't miss the other stuff at all. And don't get me started about the sizing of clothes these days -- who can fit their arms in a long sleeved shirt regardless of the size? I know I should care, but I don't.
ReplyDeleteTalk about a sore spot. I despise shopping.
ReplyDeleteI think when we have kids, life is hectic and moms put themselves last on the list. In the process we somehow we lose our sense of self. Then once the kids are grown, we suddenly find ourselves 'stuck'.
I am 45 years old. On most days in my home, you will find me in soft PJ's, or worn jeans, a stained old t-shirt and flip-flops. However, I do purchase a few cascual chic things to wear out. Nothing too dressy. I go for comfort also. Stick with a color you feel really good in. I go for blacks, browns, reds, purples, hot pink. I rarely purchase outside this color scheme so that everything in my closet is mix/matchable. There is nothing wrong with the shirt you purchased. That is a great shirt to wear with jeans. Try boot cut jeans. They are flattering to all body types. Rather than tennis shoes, try some low heel comfortable clogs. They can be worn with almost everything. Also, do you need a new hair style? Take a chance with a good stylist and go shorter or change hair color. The older we get, the lighter our hair should become...lessens wrinkles (that's why I'm more blond) Go to a department store cosmetic counter for a free make over. It's fun! Purchase some sexy under garments. Feeling sexy under your clothes, gives you confidence!
ReplyDeleteI'm here.., and I know this feeling..., just give me a minute while I get into my jeans and my boots. I live on a farm.
ReplyDeleteMy sister who lives in an affluent town, near a large city, says that a good pair of jeans and a black or white shirt are really good "basics"..., and that it's all about the accessories. So that's what I've done when I have the rare occation to go out somewhere. I put my "good" jeans on and a white blouse, add some cool jewelry and a pair of comfortable, but colorful shoes. Then I just go have fun because it's not so much about how you look as it is having a good time.
I like Reading Rosy's idea about under garments. It's fun to wear really sexy stuff under your cloths. It does give you confidence. no matter what size you are.
The best thing to do is get a basic pair of nice black slacks, a summer top and another for winter. The styles now are not for the older generation. I am still wearing some I think may have come over on Noah's ark. They say if you keep something long enough it will come back in style. I am one of them.
ReplyDeleteI must admit that I gave up years and years ago. Now, I pretend that I don't care and wear polyester!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to thank you for sharing the doggie button with me. It's an important message.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very hard subject. I don't like to look frumpy, but some of the styles are just way out there. So like LaVoice mentioned, a basic foundation color (like black) and mix and match tops.
ReplyDeleteOh Suzanne
ReplyDeleteHow we are alike! I love your post. I recently took a part time job and everything I own has some jean material in it or it is a form of t-shirt in large sizes! I had to try to look appropriate and did pretty much what Reading Rosie said, although I admit, I hate wearing bras, but I discovered it was because I wasn't buying them big enough. The boot leg pant did wonders. I still prefer "shirts" and pants over dresses. The dresses have to be longer and easy. I admit, I don't know how to dress, either. Especially in the hot, hot summer. I prefer winter where I can hide more of my body. I did join Curves recently, though, hoping that will help.
You can see by your comments, you are definitely not alone.
You have put into words (and pictures) what I always feel! Of course, as a bargain hunter, I always go to the sales racks. Then when I buy something and put it on, I'm thinking of course it looks awful. Nobody else wanted it, so it was on sale! When I go somewhere, everyone else looks so much more "put together" than I do! And, like you, the older I get, the more important comfort has become. I hate to shop for clothes! Glad to know someone else feels that way. laurie
ReplyDeleteSeems as if you struck a cord in many people, Suzanne. I spend my days in a pair of jeans, old t-shirt and my house slippers.
ReplyDeleteI have never been able to find anything at the large department stores because there is so much there. I found if I shopped at one or two small shops, I was much better off.
Back when I "had a life", I shopped at Coldwater Creek. They have fabulous styles for us mature women. Their travel knits are to die for even if you are not traveling. They fit well and they are comfy yet classic. I have also found the sales staff there is very helpful and if you let them know you are looking for honesty, they will tell you want doesn't work for you.
Another thing I learned about shopping for clothing...DO NOT shop when you are looking for something. I hate shopping for clothing for myself. What I found was if I went into Coldwater Creek once or twice every three months, picked up a top, a jacket, or a pair of pants or a skirt to go with other items already in my wardrobe, then I always had something to wear to "special" events.
Spend a little time looking at magazines and catalogs for different styles. Cut the pictures out and take them with you shopping. Look for similar looks to the pictures. If it doesn't look good on you and you don't feel fabulous in it, don't buy it and dump that picture.
You don't need Stacy and Clinton to go shopping for you. Just take along the common sense you have learned from them.
It is sooooooooo easy to get into a style rut, and at least you are interested in not being in one so you are miles ahead! I was in one forever until I started reading books and looking for things I enjoyed wearing. I am really short so it was just easy for me to say I couldn't find anything that really worked for me. Now...
ReplyDeleteI like reading style books to get some inspiration, there are loads of great ones out there, Isaac Mizrahi and Stacy and Clinton have a couple that won't make you feel like you have to wear a dress just to feel like you're stylish...you just need to find the right balance for you! Great post!
Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge
Spring into Spring giveaway
I like watching What Not To Wear and agree with most of their advice but I have to say that I don't always like their personal styles. That's ok, it would be boring if we all had the same tastes, BUT when someone is telling you what to wear and you are looking at their shirts sticking out the bottom of his sweater and her jacket, it makes me wonder why I'd take their advice. Same thing with hair. Years ago when Nick was the stylist and had that long hair pulled back in a ponytail, I had to wonder if anyone would trust his advice if they met him without having seen his work first.
ReplyDeleteI really do agree with the basics of Stacy and Clinton's advice, but they don't seem to get that many of us live in a wash and wear world. Location, time and cost might make dry cleaning natural fabrics a burden.
My other ongoing beef with them is over pointed toe shoes. I need to be comfortable and able to walk without wincing. If the shoe isn't comfortable when I first try it on, it isn't going to get any better and isn't coming home.
check out www.missussmartypants.com for real-life fashion help-she's fantastic!
ReplyDeleteAARRGGHH!! You are my mirror twin sister! I hate all my clothes and I fully believe they hate me right back. I used to have some great "go to" outfits but weight gain and a total lack of interest in shopping for clothes has left me with bleh. I go for comfort and hope I don't embarrass the kids.
ReplyDelete